baratron: (poly)
2017-06-20 09:37 pm

Preparing for a visiting Partner

I haven't been posting more than comments because it's been too hot to switch my computer on. My laptop is "built for extreme gaming" and therefore has two heavy-duty fans, one for the CPU and the other for the GPU. Unsurprisingly, it belches out A LOT of heat. Given that it's been over 30 degrees C during the day and even over 25 at night, I haven't had much desire to add to the house temperature. I've been playing Dragon Quest VII on my 3DS instead of Elder Scrolls Online on my computer, and just checking in with my Guild for 30-60 minutes at 3 am when it's as cool as it's going to get.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I shall be 41, which is quite shocking. I don't FEEL like I should be middle-aged yet - even if extended life expectancy means we now have "early" middle-age from 40 to 55 and "late" middle-age from 56 to 70 or 75, and you don't become "elderly" until you're properly decrepit. One of my birthday presents will be a visiting Grant, which means I am now attempting to do battle with entropy such that there will be enough space in the house for him to stay.

To do... )
baratron: (voted)
2017-06-08 03:12 pm

Dogs at Polling Stations, Voting when Blind, and Eff Off Evening Standard

Am back from telling. Dogs at the Polling Station update: 5 during the hours of 1pm - 3pm.

Yay: I got licked by a very fluffy husky.
Boo: His owner was a very obnoxious Tory.

Here is an interesting video from BBC News: How do you vote when you're blind?

In other news, London's newspaper, the Evening Standard officially Went Too Far last night. It is now edited by George Osborne, who is famous primarily for being Chancellor of the Exchequer (a.k.a. Finance Minister) for David Cameron's government. Obviously, you would expect a bit of Tory bias in his newspaper.

Well, yesterday it was announced that Diane Abbott, the Shadow Home Secretary, is unwell. Shadow Ministers are from the main Opposition party (currently, the Labour Party) and literally "shadow" the jobs of Government ministers. Conservatives have argued that she isn't really unwell at all, this is an excuse to get her out of the limelight because of mistakes she has been making during the Election campaign. Personally, given my chronic illnesses, it seems entirely obvious to me that a person who has previously been very competent and suddenly starts making mistakes could be ill. But hey, I'm biased in a different direction.

The Home Secretary is responsible for immigration, policing, and national security. Theresa May was previously Home Secretary, and during her incumbency the UK Home Office asked LGBT asylum seekers utterly atrocious personal questions, held traumatised people in detention, generally treated them like crap on a stick, and sent legitimate asylum seekers back to their original countries to get tortured and/or killed. The Home Secretary is also responsible for the UK's efforts to Fight the War Against Some Terrorists. It's basically the third most important job in the British Government.

The Evening Standard responded to the news of Diane Abbott's illness by commissioning this absolutely appalling cartoon. It's rude, obnoxious, and dismissive of pretty much everyone with a long-term serious health condition. The rather wonderful Jack Monroe has pointed out everything that Diane Abbott has achieved in her career. It's long, and impressive. Plenty of other politicians never accomplish this much. So why does she get so much abuse? Could it be because she dares to be middle-aged, female, black, and fat?
baratron: (voted)
2017-06-08 07:33 am

Richmond Park, Brexit, and the General Election

Today is the British General Election, and I am scared shitless.

On a local level, there is a strong chance that I will once again have the overprivileged twit who didn't know what BSL meant (when given the context of "BSL interpreters for disabled people") as my Member of Parliament. I am absolutely horrified that the local Conservative party chose Zac Goldsmith as their candidate for MP, after he resigned from the party and triggered an entirely unnecessary by-election only a few months ago. He claimed it was about blocking the expansion of Heathrow Airport. Well, guess what? The Conservative Government decided to back the expansion of Heathrow Airport! So how can he stand as a Conservative again? Okay, he never ruled out rejoining the Conservatives 'in the future', but five months later is hardly the sort of 'future' that people were expecting when they asked him.

Basically, the man is a self-serving slimeball*. He believes that the reason he lost the by-election in December was because standing as an Independent, he wasn't allowed access to the Conservative Party database of supporters, and Conservative ministers weren't allowed to help him. (Although some non-minister Conservative MPs helped him, including pro-Heathrow expansion friends.) 1871 votes isn't a big margin, and while people might be willing to vote Lib Dem as a protest against Brexit, people who are scared of Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister aren't going to risk losing a Conservative seat. Urgh.

*[Since we need some humour to break up the unrelenting grimness, I saw this article in one of the local rags the other day: A huge snake paid an uninvited visit to a home in Kew and immediately texted Richard to ask "Was it Zac Goldsmith?". He replied, "It's a popular misconception that snakes are slimy. Actually, only Tories are slimy." My dear friend Stellarwind pointed out "There's a very distinctive difference. One is a predatory cold-blooded reptile that makes some people very nervous... the other is a snake."]

On a national level, the fact is that the Conservatives hate disabled people. I could link to literally hundreds of articles to prove this, but here's one about mental health, and one about physical disability. That second link should be read by EVERYONE I know except for those who are expecting a PIP assessment soon and can't afford to get triggered.

There's also the absolute mess that Brexit is going to make of our country. I have no training in economics and cannot really argue this point, but I do know that the pound was worth US $1.6 only about a year ago. Now it's more like 1.1. And that isn't because the dollar got a lot stronger, it's because the British economy is collapsing.

I was arguing with an idiot this morning who claimed that "u can look at it as people more incentivised to buy local and your economy will benefit". I replied "'Buy local' means giving up every foodstuff which can't grow in your climate. Goodbye, oranges!". The exchange rate matters A LOT for trade. Even on the most basic level of an individual wanting to shop, it matters. I want a $20 nerdy t-shirt from the US? It used to cost me £12.50. Now it costs me £18.18. (The idiot claimed I should "buy a nerdy UK shirt. this is how you rek your own economy gettin evrythin foreign", and I tried to point out that the specific design I want to purchase is sold by an American company, and then I gave up trying to argue.)

The Conservative government is violently pro hard-Brexit (i.e. a complete split from the EU, removing the right to free movement, withdrawing from the European Court of Human Rights, withdrawing from the European Medicines Agency, etc). I'm a scientist and I'm worried sick about the effect of Brexit on science. I'm also a person with Northern Irish ancestry, and I'm worried sick about the effect of Brexit on the Irish border. These things matter, and it's like a load of little Englander UKIP-voting Brexiteers haven't even thought about them.

And I just can't cope. My mental health has been collapsing ever since this election was called, along with many of my friends'. Richard is kicking himself for not taking up Belgian citizenship when he was still entitled to it. I'm going to be out today working for the Liberal Democrats, trying to make sure that we keep our Sarah and don't let that awful Zac back, but a General Election really isn't the same as a local by-election. And I've been too ill and stressed lately to do more than cheer Richard on as he's delivered leaflets. If we lose by a narrow margin, it's going to feel very personal.

[Leaving this public for now. If any anonymous trolls decide to have a go at me, then I'll close it down. Not in the mood to argue.]
baratron: (Luka)
2017-06-07 03:51 am
Entry tags:

Have been to the dentist

I went to the dentist and it was not traumatic! It may have helped that my dentist was an attractive woman ;) I've never had a female dentist before.

Cut for people who don't want to hear about dentistry, although it was not scary for me and I'm pretty dental phobic. )
baratron: (Luka)
2017-06-06 02:34 am
Entry tags:

Wolfy has a Bad Fang

I have tooth pain. I was asleep on Sunday afternoon because my sleep patterns are completely messed up. Woke up on Sunday night having dreamt about tooth pain, and woke up to find it was real :( Specifically one of my wisdom teeth (bottom left) has decided to start breaking through the gum line and my gum is all puffy and swollen.

Read more... )
baratron: (endurance)
2017-06-02 12:43 am

Have accomplished DSA forms

Last night I spent about 3 hours filling in my Disabled Students' Allowance forms and wanted to die. There is nothing quite like detailing EVERY WAY in which you are medically broken to make you feel like a non-person.

I had to fill in three years' worth of forms in one go, because I need some funding for 2015/16 to cover 4 x sessions I had with my disability support mentor before deciding to go on a break in studies, as well as the current year (2016/17) and next year (2017/18), which made the whole experience extra tedious. Although virtually all the questions were the same, so I could copy and paste stuff.

The worst thing was that my name - "Helen-Louise" was too long to fit in the boxes of the older forms because apparently a first name should only have 10 characters in it?! I mean, what?

In other news I am slowly continuing to move people over from their old livejournal usernames to their new Dreamwidth usernames for access and subscription purposes. If you think you should be on my access list and are not currently (can you see this post?) feel free to leave me a comment here.
baratron: (bi_pride)
2017-05-31 11:05 pm

I booked for BiCon!

Who is going? And who wants to share a flat with me?

Proviso: I need an accessible room/bathroom which may reduce the number of humans that can be accommodated within the flat.
baratron: (cn tower)
2017-04-26 02:08 am

Home from travels

Home from travelling. Actually, I got in somewhere around 1 pm yesterday and proceeded to pass out for many hours. Woke up at 1 am and (much to my surprise) have been awake ever since. Husband has been snuggled. Boyfriend has been talked to on Skype. He looks very sad, poor thing, but it remains against the laws of physics for me to be in two places at once. Hoping we can have him visit in late June/early July for my birthday.

Super weirdly, I have been physically energetic enough to have emptied the laundry rack, folded the dry laundry, sorted all of the dirty laundry in my suitcase, put on a load of laundry, emptied the clean stuff out of the dishwasher and refilled it. I hope that I will not pay for this tomorrow, though I have A Theory. A theory which involves, of all things, vegan bacon and my ability to get it.

(Gods, I knew that Yves Veggie Bacon wasn't very fatty, but I didn't realise that 3 rashers had only 0.5 g of fat between the lot of them, along with 14 g of protein. Short of actually, y'know, BAKING my own tofu, I am unsure where to get tasty textured fake meat products which are low fat and high protein. Nasty-tasting, weird textured but low fat, I can do. Nice-tasting, well-textured and full of fat, I can do).

Continue to be Unimpressed with Aer Lingus. Will relate the full story later when spoons exist.
baratron: (cn tower)
2017-04-23 10:55 pm
Entry tags:

And it just gets better and better

Saturday, April 22, 2017, 10:00 p.m. — Monday, April 24, 2017, 5:00 p.m.

Due to system maintenance during the dates and times listed, there will be a partial shutdown of AirTrain JFK service. There will be no service to/from all airport terminals and no service at the Howard Beach and Lefferts Blvd stations. AirTrain JFK service will continue to operate a normal schedule to/from Jamaica Station and Federal Circle. Free shuttle buses replace service and will be available at the affected AirTrain stations and airport terminals. Please allow extra time when traveling to and from John F. Kennedy International Airport and see a Customer Care Representative for assistance if needed.


Argh! I just LOVE the idea of having to travel around the airport in a shuttle bus instead of a nice, accessible train! *facepalm*
baratron: (boots)
2017-04-23 06:26 pm

People are stupid (sometimes including me)

I have many photos of my trip to the US to post, when I get A Round Tuit. They are crappy mobile phone pictures, but I cannot be bothered to carry a real camera with me any more. I am a terrible photographer with the best equipment in the world, and I'm more interested in recording memories than attempting to take good shots.

Currently I am worrying about being stranded in New York tomorrow once Delta drop me off there.

It turns out that Aer Lingus are morons. I've had several "incidents" with them this trip and am never flying with them again, but in the meantime they are supposed to be getting me home to London tomorrow.Read more... )
baratron: (sleepy)
2017-04-19 03:16 pm
Entry tags:

So tired

Ye gods, I am so tired.

Shifty is in the process of replacing all of the kitchenware and appliances that he "inherited" from various relatives. However, he doesn't ever use his toaster, so it's pretty low priority for him. The toaster doesn't pop up properly, so I usually unplug it and then reach in with a fork to get the toasted item out.

Today I caught myself reaching into the toaster with a fork while it was still plugged in, thought "I don't want to electrocute myself" and flipped the pastry with (now-burned) fingers. Then I did the exact same thing when getting it out to serve!

My brain is just fried with fatigue. I am seriously contemplating going back to bed because I'm woozy as hell. No idea why I should be so tired, beyond the normal chronic fatigue. I'm sleeping well and falling asleep within minutes of getting into bed, which almost never happens at home. Although yesterday I was feeling like a sim whose Social bar was close to zero, so maybe it's that.

Emailed Dawn and [personal profile] hoopycat a few minutes ago to see if they want to come round for dinner tonight. We have a metric buttload of food that needs to be eaten up because Grant and I keep going out. I'll be up for socialising once I've rested some more.
baratron: (endurance)
2017-04-18 02:27 pm
Entry tags:

Easter, Christians, and Church

Well, I am an idiot. On Friday I went into a complete panic because the official invite for the party with Grant's cow-orkers got sent around, and it was very actively Christian. I generally have no problem with Christians who I meet through queer or poly circles, or who are members of the same political party as me, since I know they are likely to share my liberal values. However, given the state of American politics and the people currently running the country who call themselves "Christian" but share none of the values of tolerance and love expressed by Jesus Christ, I have something of a phobia of American Christians.

Grant says that I am being judgemental and jumping to conclusions, but it is a real problem when people who are in favour of love, equality, and social justice use the same name for their religion as people who are in favour of hatred and rich-white-cis-heteros being superior to everyone else. Of course, neither of them are willing to change to a different name, with the argument from liberal Christians being that they need to reclaim the name of Christ from the hatemongers. I can understand their point of view, but it makes it really difficult to know whether a person who calls themselves Christian is the "good" kind of Christian or the "bad" kind.

of course this gets long, it's me after all )
baratron: (poly)
2017-04-14 01:32 pm

Dinner with a Good Friend and Total Strangers

Yesterday was a little surreal. First of all, a friend who I've known for 15+ years outed themselves as non-binary and planning to start a medical transition approximately 5 hours before we were due to meet in person. Of course, I have no problems whatsoever with a person changing their name and pronoun (as I said, sometimes I feel like the only person in the bi/poly community who isn't non-binary or genderqueer*)- but I usually expect to find out a bit sooner than the day we're meeting for the first time in seven months! It helps to practice the new name and pronoun for a bit by myself so I don't accidentally blurt out the wrong one with the person present.

As it was, I blurted out the wrong name within minutes, and didn't even mean to - I was trying to say "Grant", but my stupid noun aphasia (caused by high doses of venlafaxine, which is otherwise a really good medication for me) cut in and substituted the friend's old name. Just great. Fortunately, friend has indeed known me for 15+ years and has been aware of what my mental health is like when inadequately medicated, and could agree that annoying side-effect beats the state I used to be in.

Then the friend (who may out themselves here if they wish) and I went out for dinner with Shifty and two of his cow-orkers. They were all hideously late owing to their charity work being extremely disorganised, and I was very glad I wasn't sitting in the restaurant by myself. The cow-orkers asked how Shifty and I had met, we started talking about Elder Scrolls Online and the UESP Guild, and it turned out that one of the cow-orkers has been using the UESP wiki since Oblivion (2006). And he was basically fanboying at me for running the UESP Guild and knowing the site owner.

Meanwhile, my friend was talking about their wife and girlfriend, and I was talking about Grant and "my husband, Richard". I mentioned things like when the three of us go out for dinner, how they always pick the same thing and then one of them has to switch so they can try more dishes - that they don't just have the same taste in women. While not explicitly at any stage using words like "polyamory" or "open relationship".

The dinner was nice and it was not too stressful, but I was feeling pretty wiped out by the end. I seem to be fighting some sort of throat infection, which is attempting to ruin my holiday and can sod off any time now.


*I am bigender rather than non-binary or genderqueer, so I am female except when I'm not. I have somewhere between a few hours and a few days of raging gender dysphoria per month where my entire body is Wrong, and the (actually bi but scared of women) gay man in the back of my head comes out. And the rest of the time it's just fine and I want to be addressed as "she/her" and recognised as A Female Geek Doing Nerdy Things. The conclusion I've come to is that my social and political gender is female, but my sexual gender is male.
baratron: (baratron)
2017-04-14 12:53 pm
Entry tags:

New Exciting Dreamwidth Meta

I am about 50% of the way through fixing my Dreamwidth Circle to include people's DW names instead of their LJ names if I am certain that they have moved over. It's exhausting! And removing the people who are ACTUALLY DEAD or who I have irreversibly lost contact with (i.e. they haven't logged into LJ since 2003) is emotionally draining.

If you are reading this but are not already in my Circle because your name is different here than it was on LJ, please let me know. Also all of my old filters are messed up, I literally cannot remember who used to have access to what, so if you happen to have a bookmarked post which you can't read any more, let me know and I'll filter you back in. I'm a little tempted to simply delete ALL of my old filters and start again, but I have around 25 of the things - they must have been useful for something!

I also need to remind myself how the S2 system works, and port over my old LJ style if it's actually S2. I can't remember whether I ever got around to switching from S1 to S2! I quite like the default Dreamwidth style that I'm using at the moment, apart from all of the titles being in BLOCK CAPITALS. I am the sort of person who even likes to put her own name in lower case, so all of these BLOCK CAPITALS are quite SHOUTY and I don't like my own journal SHOUTING at me.

In related news, I need to set up a custom mood scheme because I don't like any of the defaults. I *like* my rainbow faces over at LJ, okay?! Might have to commission someone who can sprite to create a custom mood scheme for me. That's not actually a bad idea...

Edit: Ye gods, this is depressing. Apparently it's livejournal's 18th birthday. I could cry.
baratron: (rainbow chemistry geek)
2017-04-12 01:30 pm

Visiting my Big Man

In the process of importing my livejournal. Hoping it won't take forever because 2001-most of 2013 is already here. Wondering about some of my communities (the two or three that I really care about) because I haven't been back to lj to "agree" to their TOS and mark my entire journal as Not Suitable For Children yet. Mostly due to lack of time.

In the meantime, if you want to be added to my Fiends List and use a different username here, please comment. I do so like Dreamwidth's separation of "Subscribe" and "Grants Access".

I am currently in Rochester, New York, USA visiting my partner Grant. Here are some pictures from Monday:
Me and Shifty cuddling

And two more! )
baratron: (bi_pride)
2017-03-20 08:08 am
Entry tags:

BiFest

Apparently there is a BiFest on Saturday 8th April, approximately 10 minutes walk from my house. This is so very close that I really have no excuse not to go. So who else will be there?

The day after, I am flying to the US to see Grant for two weeks, so it will be awesome to see all my bi and/or poly friends beforehand!
baratron: (aibo)
2016-12-14 11:06 am

New-to-me doctors never understand me

Today I experienced the joy which is seeing a doctor who doesn't know me. Apparently my usual GP is on holiday somewhere warm, lucky woman.

So I was explaining to the doctor that I have had chronic fatigue and pain on and off since I was 13 and I'm now 40, and that I was concerned about the pain in my left knee. The last time I was in this kind of pain was March 2003 when I got diagnosed with hyperventilation occulta. It's a chronic fatigue syndrome type of pain rather than an injury sort of pain.

I explained that I was concerned because I am unable to do very much exercise because of my exercise-induced exhaustion, and now because of this pain I can't even do the small amount of exercise that I usually do. It hurts when I sit, it hurts when I lie down, it hurts when I stand, it hurts when I walk, it hurts when I stretch. Nothing that I know of changes the pain. Since some of my other joints are starting to get achey too, I am concerned.

Trigger warning: unwanted diet advice. )
baratron: (bunches)
2016-12-12 11:42 pm
Entry tags:

Who wants a Christmas card?

I haven't managed to send Christmas cards to friends for the past two years, due to exhaustion. So I have a pretty big collection of them waiting to be sent now. Who wants one?

There are two options for cards: an amazing winter London scene supporting the Princess Alice Hospice (total: 7 cards) and a cute fuzzy brown bear in a jumper supporting the British Heart Foundation (total: 20 cards). My plan is to send the London cards to people outside the UK and the bear cards to people inside the UK, but this may be thwarted by the mismatch in the number of people I know in each location. I meant to add an option to the poll for people to say which card they would prefer if they have a strong preference, but I forgot - feel free to mention this in comments if you want to.

I do not send e-cards because my purpose for sending out cards is to prove that my imaginary internet friends are real, and e-cards don't prove anything.

[Poll #2059472]

All comments are screened so you can leave your address below. Please do it a.s.a.p. so the cards have some chance of getting to you :)

Please be aware that in asking to receive a card from me, you are NOT obliged to send one back. If anyone is able to understand low energy/disorganisation/a total lack of spoons, then I can. I send cards because I like to do it, not because you must reciprocate! Although if you do want to send me something, here's my address.
baratron: (boots)
2016-12-12 09:39 am

Still alive.

I am alive. Coping with the hiatus hernia. Perhaps in a one damned thing after another sort of way. Still, the symptoms have all improved dramatically since I started eating much smaller meals and stopping before I feel full.

Now if my chronic fatigue and pain would kindly sod off, I'd be a lot happier. My legs have been useless for weeks now and I need to talk to my doctor about medication. My left knee in particular hurts if I rest, hurts if I walk, hurts if I stretch, hurts if I sit. Frankly, I can't figure out what doesn't aggravate the bloody thing.

It has been a dreadful year all round. Not least of all politically - as Richard pointed out today, when did the language of the far right become the ordinary way to describe things? And that's even without all the normal stresses of being a queer disabled woman that were already present before politics veered horrendously over to Farageland and Trumpsville.

Most of the good things that have happened this year have involved music, travel, or my partners. Sometimes at the same time. I haven't been well enough to travel much, but Grant came here in February, all 3 of us went to Boston in May to see Freezepop, Richard & I went to the Download Festival in June (and got thoroughly rained on), and I went to see Grant at his new home in Rochester, NY in September. We also saw [livejournal.com profile] ext_890197 and [livejournal.com profile] veryfineredwine, for the first time since I went to Boston to pick up wedding rings. I haven't written anything in livejournal about visiting Grant because it was quite honestly the only week in the past six months that I was not completely exhausted and ill. (Also, it was a 12-day trip including travel, so that gives you some idea of the health).

Richard is now in several bands, including one called Amps at Eleven. (There is a heavy metal umlaut on one of the Es, but I can't remember which one). They have actually done gigs recently, which is more than his other two bands are likely to ever accomplish. I sent text messages to everyone who I thought might like a classic rock covers band and be conceivably able to get to Raynes Park on a Tuesday night, but in the end only [livejournal.com profile] pilot_moondog came. Still, it was good to see Shaun.

I need to make a list of all the gigs I have been to this year. It seems like the only time I ever leave the house is for (a) a medical appointment, (b) to buy cake, (c) to see a band. It's crazy how many people who live in London I haven't seen in 3+ years. I miss having a fuller life. Doing something other than sitting up at night playing Elder Scrolls Online.

Don't get me wrong. I love my ESO Guild and my friends from our Teamspeak. But I'd like it to be A thing that I do rather than THE thing that I do. One of several ways that I hang out with friends, rather than the only one.

Who's still on livejournal? Am I going to be forced to start a Facebook account just so that I can still talk to people?
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
2016-11-09 02:49 pm

Blargh.

So I haven't written anything here since July, which is impressively lax even for me. In short, I have been suffering from the worst chronic fatigue since I lived in the flat and eventually got diagnosed with hyperventilation occulta. I am playing Elder Scrolls Online and chatting to people via Skype and my ESO Guild's Teamspeak channel, but barely socialising at all otherwise, even online. It's just too much effort given my state of exhaustion. I've left the house about 10 times in 4 months.

I have also had an ongoing cold/cough/snot disease thing since June when I caught lurgy at the Download Festival. I get ill approximately every two weeks and stay ill for a week. I have had ongoing digestive TMI since a couple of months before June. And I've been throwing up at least once a day for the past, er, few months.

My GP and I were hoping that it was a Helicobacter pylori infection because that is relatively easy to treat, even if the treatment is unpleasant. But that test came back negative. Nor was there anything particularly exciting in my blood test results. So now I'm waiting for a gastroscopy.

Thing is, I am not at all certain whether there is anything wrong with my digestive system. I am permanently snotty, despite antihistamines, nose spray and eye drops, and the vomiting seems to be related to excessive overproduction of snot. I understand why they're starting by investigating the digestive system, because of all the TMI. But I dunno. My suspicion is that, rather than there being something actively wrong, I'm allergic and reacting to something which forms a major part of my daily diet.

I don't know whether I'm more afraid of the gut biopsy coming back positive for coeliac disease, meaning I'll have to radically change my diet; or negative, meaning I don't have to change my diet (yet) but we still don't know what is wrong. I'm inclined towards wanting to know, because I have been having increasingly bad symptoms since March or April, and it's now November, and I am getting worse rather than better. I was supposed to be back at university by now, not living in limbo.

In exciting news, I got a call from the hospital a few hours ago. Apparently they've had a cancellation and wanted to know if I could come in tomorrow. I was extremely enthusiastic, even after they told me the appointment is at 8.25 am. Unfortunately I can't eat for 6 hours before the appointment, which isn't too bad - but nor can I drink for 4 hours beforehand. This would be fine if I wasn't nocturnal, but being thirsty makes me anxious. I am not looking forward to having my anxiety provoked. Nor am I likely to be able to sleep given the time of day of the appointment - I will be too anxious about not waking up on time.

Good thoughts, and comments about how trivially easy and unstressful your gastroscopy experiences were, would be welcomed at this time.