Blargh.

Nov. 9th, 2016 02:49 pm
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
So I haven't written anything here since July, which is impressively lax even for me. In short, I have been suffering from the worst chronic fatigue since I lived in the flat and eventually got diagnosed with hyperventilation occulta. I am playing Elder Scrolls Online and chatting to people via Skype and my ESO Guild's Teamspeak channel, but barely socialising at all otherwise, even online. It's just too much effort given my state of exhaustion. I've left the house about 10 times in 4 months.

I have also had an ongoing cold/cough/snot disease thing since June when I caught lurgy at the Download Festival. I get ill approximately every two weeks and stay ill for a week. I have had ongoing digestive TMI since a couple of months before June. And I've been throwing up at least once a day for the past, er, few months.

My GP and I were hoping that it was a Helicobacter pylori infection because that is relatively easy to treat, even if the treatment is unpleasant. But that test came back negative. Nor was there anything particularly exciting in my blood test results. So now I'm waiting for a gastroscopy.

Thing is, I am not at all certain whether there is anything wrong with my digestive system. I am permanently snotty, despite antihistamines, nose spray and eye drops, and the vomiting seems to be related to excessive overproduction of snot. I understand why they're starting by investigating the digestive system, because of all the TMI. But I dunno. My suspicion is that, rather than there being something actively wrong, I'm allergic and reacting to something which forms a major part of my daily diet.

I don't know whether I'm more afraid of the gut biopsy coming back positive for coeliac disease, meaning I'll have to radically change my diet; or negative, meaning I don't have to change my diet (yet) but we still don't know what is wrong. I'm inclined towards wanting to know, because I have been having increasingly bad symptoms since March or April, and it's now November, and I am getting worse rather than better. I was supposed to be back at university by now, not living in limbo.

In exciting news, I got a call from the hospital a few hours ago. Apparently they've had a cancellation and wanted to know if I could come in tomorrow. I was extremely enthusiastic, even after they told me the appointment is at 8.25 am. Unfortunately I can't eat for 6 hours before the appointment, which isn't too bad - but nor can I drink for 4 hours beforehand. This would be fine if I wasn't nocturnal, but being thirsty makes me anxious. I am not looking forward to having my anxiety provoked. Nor am I likely to be able to sleep given the time of day of the appointment - I will be too anxious about not waking up on time.

Good thoughts, and comments about how trivially easy and unstressful your gastroscopy experiences were, would be welcomed at this time.
baratron: (boots)
Today I have been ADULTING like a PRO. I called the Student Loans Company about the threatening letter which they sent me. To be fair, I have an income-contingent student loan, and they received information from the Inland Revenue to say that I was no longer employed, so they wanted to know where I got my income from, on the basis that I might be secretly earning a small fortune and secreting it away somewhere.

I still have to fill in the damned form, but at least they know that I called them and I'm not trying to avoid paying back the loan.

I also called EDF Energy to get moved onto a fixed-rate tariff that will cost £76 per month instead of the variable-rate tariff which costs £100 per month which we have been on because I didn't have the spoons to deal with it before. Now I am drenched in sweat and I don't think it's only because of the weather.

Why is adulting so exhausting? I mean, neurotypical non-depressed people manage it all the time.

Alexa thinks it's because of tuits/spoons. Adulting uses lots, and they have more of them. I think that explains how they're able to do it more easily, but it doesn't explain why it should take so many bleedin' spoons to do pretty straightforward tasks. I mean, it shouldn't be that difficult to either call or go through the website to change your energy tariff, when you're already being a lazy git and staying with the same energy company because you don't have the energy to start looking around for better deals. But apparently it is? (Actually, I did forget you could do it through the website. That would have made it a lot easier.)

I also still have to deal with Student Finance England and my university, but this also requires dealing with my doctor. I need proof that I've been too sick to be studying for the past year as well as proof that I am now recovered enough to go back. It's a bit too much considering I've been revoltingly ill with bronchitis for the past couple of weeks. I have recovered enough to only need double my usual asthma meds, rather than 6-8 times my usual dose plus oral steroids. But I've only been out of the house 5 times since 14th June, and two of those were doctor's appointments.

Blargh blargh blargh. So much ill. So little energy.

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