baratron: (poly)
Yesterday was a little surreal. First of all, a friend who I've known for 15+ years outed themselves as non-binary and planning to start a medical transition approximately 5 hours before we were due to meet in person. Of course, I have no problems whatsoever with a person changing their name and pronoun (as I said, sometimes I feel like the only person in the bi/poly community who isn't non-binary or genderqueer*)- but I usually expect to find out a bit sooner than the day we're meeting for the first time in seven months! It helps to practice the new name and pronoun for a bit by myself so I don't accidentally blurt out the wrong one with the person present.

As it was, I blurted out the wrong name within minutes, and didn't even mean to - I was trying to say "Grant", but my stupid noun aphasia (caused by high doses of venlafaxine, which is otherwise a really good medication for me) cut in and substituted the friend's old name. Just great. Fortunately, friend has indeed known me for 15+ years and has been aware of what my mental health is like when inadequately medicated, and could agree that annoying side-effect beats the state I used to be in.

Then the friend (who may out themselves here if they wish) and I went out for dinner with Shifty and two of his cow-orkers. They were all hideously late owing to their charity work being extremely disorganised, and I was very glad I wasn't sitting in the restaurant by myself. The cow-orkers asked how Shifty and I had met, we started talking about Elder Scrolls Online and the UESP Guild, and it turned out that one of the cow-orkers has been using the UESP wiki since Oblivion (2006). And he was basically fanboying at me for running the UESP Guild and knowing the site owner.

Meanwhile, my friend was talking about their wife and girlfriend, and I was talking about Grant and "my husband, Richard". I mentioned things like when the three of us go out for dinner, how they always pick the same thing and then one of them has to switch so they can try more dishes - that they don't just have the same taste in women. While not explicitly at any stage using words like "polyamory" or "open relationship".

The dinner was nice and it was not too stressful, but I was feeling pretty wiped out by the end. I seem to be fighting some sort of throat infection, which is attempting to ruin my holiday and can sod off any time now.


*I am bigender rather than non-binary or genderqueer, so I am female except when I'm not. I have somewhere between a few hours and a few days of raging gender dysphoria per month where my entire body is Wrong, and the (actually bi but scared of women) gay man in the back of my head comes out. And the rest of the time it's just fine and I want to be addressed as "she/her" and recognised as A Female Geek Doing Nerdy Things. The conclusion I've come to is that my social and political gender is female, but my sexual gender is male.
baratron: (rainbow chemistry geek)
In the process of importing my livejournal. Hoping it won't take forever because 2001-most of 2013 is already here. Wondering about some of my communities (the two or three that I really care about) because I haven't been back to lj to "agree" to their TOS and mark my entire journal as Not Suitable For Children yet. Mostly due to lack of time.

In the meantime, if you want to be added to my Fiends List and use a different username here, please comment. I do so like Dreamwidth's separation of "Subscribe" and "Grants Access".

I am currently in Rochester, New York, USA visiting my partner Grant. Here are some pictures from Monday:
Me and Shifty cuddling

And two more! )
baratron: (boots)
I am alive. Coping with the hiatus hernia. Perhaps in a one damned thing after another sort of way. Still, the symptoms have all improved dramatically since I started eating much smaller meals and stopping before I feel full.

Now if my chronic fatigue and pain would kindly sod off, I'd be a lot happier. My legs have been useless for weeks now and I need to talk to my doctor about medication. My left knee in particular hurts if I rest, hurts if I walk, hurts if I stretch, hurts if I sit. Frankly, I can't figure out what doesn't aggravate the bloody thing.

It has been a dreadful year all round. Not least of all politically - as Richard pointed out today, when did the language of the far right become the ordinary way to describe things? And that's even without all the normal stresses of being a queer disabled woman that were already present before politics veered horrendously over to Farageland and Trumpsville.

Most of the good things that have happened this year have involved music, travel, or my partners. Sometimes at the same time. I haven't been well enough to travel much, but Grant came here in February, all 3 of us went to Boston in May to see Freezepop, Richard & I went to the Download Festival in June (and got thoroughly rained on), and I went to see Grant at his new home in Rochester, NY in September. We also saw [livejournal.com profile] ext_890197 and [livejournal.com profile] veryfineredwine, for the first time since I went to Boston to pick up wedding rings. I haven't written anything in livejournal about visiting Grant because it was quite honestly the only week in the past six months that I was not completely exhausted and ill. (Also, it was a 12-day trip including travel, so that gives you some idea of the health).

Richard is now in several bands, including one called Amps at Eleven. (There is a heavy metal umlaut on one of the Es, but I can't remember which one). They have actually done gigs recently, which is more than his other two bands are likely to ever accomplish. I sent text messages to everyone who I thought might like a classic rock covers band and be conceivably able to get to Raynes Park on a Tuesday night, but in the end only [livejournal.com profile] pilot_moondog came. Still, it was good to see Shaun.

I need to make a list of all the gigs I have been to this year. It seems like the only time I ever leave the house is for (a) a medical appointment, (b) to buy cake, (c) to see a band. It's crazy how many people who live in London I haven't seen in 3+ years. I miss having a fuller life. Doing something other than sitting up at night playing Elder Scrolls Online.

Don't get me wrong. I love my ESO Guild and my friends from our Teamspeak. But I'd like it to be A thing that I do rather than THE thing that I do. One of several ways that I hang out with friends, rather than the only one.

Who's still on livejournal? Am I going to be forced to start a Facebook account just so that I can still talk to people?
baratron: (poly)
I haven't had much energy for livejournal (or indeed, any sort of extended writing) the past few weeks. Today I was planning to write about what we did with Grant while he was here, but I got caught up in chatting on irc and have burned through my communication spoons. Urgh.

So have some more pictures:

The three of us on the 37th Floor of the Sky Garden at 20 Fenchurch Street, London. 2016-02-21
On the 37th Floor with London behind us, 2016-02-21

Here is a another picture taken at the same time in which I exhibit a seriously smug face.

We found the Poly lift! )
baratron: (poly)
Grant is visiting from the US. It's his first time out of North America and everything here is very very strange. He first got confused on the bus back from Heathrow because of how twisty the streets were, compared to the grid patterns that he's used to. "It's like driving around a Paisley!" he said.

We have done various things, including cuddling, eating, playing Elder Scrolls Online (Grant is such a nerd that he brought his non-laptop computer. Yes, a mini tower) and looking at museums and other such tourist "attractions". I will write more about that when it's not 3 am and we're not supposed to be up in the morning.

I'm sure that what you actually want to see are the pictures of us loving each other.

A couple of days after Grant arrived, in our house. Picture taken by Richard.
In our house. 2016-02

Two more pictures! )
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
I'm pretty certain I have flu. This is despite having had a flu jab in October. I've been ill since Friday night with a temperature that stays over 38.0 deg C (about 100 deg F) despite taking paracetamol/acetaminophen to bring it down. I am coughing, sneezing, and aching all over, and over the weekend I also had nausea, vomiting, and diarrhoea. The digestive issues have mostly settled down now, but everything else is still present.

Woke up this morning with a temperature of 39.7 deg C (103.5 deg F) and considered calling the doctor or pharmacist because I was so very out of it that I felt scared. But half an hour after taking paracetamol, my temperature was a 'mere' 39.2, so clearly paracetamol was still managing to be antipyretic. I woke up later feeling absolutely freezing and was convinced that my fever had broken, but it was still 38.3 deg C. Eww.

The problem with paracetamol is that it's hepatotoxic enough that you can only take 4 doses a day; which considering it wears off after 5 to 5.5 hours, doesn't cover the entire 24 hour day too well. If I could take NSAIDs then I'd alternate paracetamol with ibuprofen, but NSAIDs make me stop breathing, which would likely be worse than having a fever :P

Have texted my parents and Tim & Peter to cancel Christmas. Apparently flu is contagious for 7 days after symptoms start, or longer if you have a bad immune system, so I will still be contagious on Friday. And frankly, I don't wish this on anyone. I'm nowhere near as ill as I would have been if I hadn't had the vaccination, but I still feel worse than I typically do for a cold - ill enough that I wish I could just sleep until it's gone.

At this point, I am actually glad that Grant is having to work all over Christmas and New Year, since it would be horrible to have him visiting while I'm this bloody sick. I just hope that Richard doesn't catch it. He's coughing his lungs out, but then he's been coughing since the last cold he had about a month ago.
baratron: (bunches)
I am in Toronto with @Wicked_Shifty! Sorry for the lack of updates... the wifi in our hotel room is beyond terrible, so we've come down to the lobby to post sickening adorable pictures.

Me & Shifty 2015-08-29

Me & Shifty 2015-08-29

Shifty says, "Without internet, we have had to find other ways to amuse ourselves. Surprisingly, the TV hasn't been turned on yet." :D
baratron: (richard)
Back from the Download Festival which was literally a washout. Saw quite a few good bands, missed quite a few more due to the weather. Proper review later.

Yesterday's Happy Poly Moment: Husband taking "sexy" pictures of me to send to Boyfriend. I was wearing new clothes bought at Download - a t-shirt supporting the Sophie Lancaster Foundation, a gothic top with lace and roses, a dress which is so figure-hugging that it's definitely only for good self-esteem days. Pictures will also be posted here later - don't have time to resize and crop them right now (the internet does not need to see the mess of my bedroom/house!).

Yesterday's Not Sure How to Categorise Poly Moment: After I had a argument with Boyfriend, Husband contacted him over Skype to explain a few things. It's good that Richard felt able to talk to Shifty directly, but bad that we had an epic misunderstanding in the first place.

Currently working. Stressed. Annoyed with supervisor for not responding to emails. Going to talk to Disability Mentor in an hour or so.
baratron: (grinning)
I really shouldn't laugh at people whose English is a damn sight better than my Mandarin or Cantonese, but there's something endearingly hilarious about this sign for "herbal Viagra" as seen in a Chinese Traditional Medicine shop:

Make your another half more happier.

For one thing, it's unintentionally poly...
baratron: (endurance)
Issues:
xoJane: Fat kids and formerly fat kids are at significant risk of eating disorders, yet are more likely to go undiagnosed and untreated. Something that I only really thought about based on the experience of a friend, but it should seem obvious once you think about it.

Slate.com: How would American media report on the Government shutdown if it were happening in another country?. A bit out-of-date now, but certainly interesting.

Society's New Rules (According to the Internet)

Adorable:
Not Always Romantic: Three is a Crowd, but also Allowed. The last line just makes it.

Amusement:
The 50 Most Perfectly Timed Photos Ever.

IKEA or Death? Does that shouty Scandinavian name belong to an IKEA product or a death metal band?

Knitted nautilidae!

Snakes Wearing Tiny Hats.

Pet snake playing Pokemon X/Y.
baratron: (poly)
GRRRRRRRRR. Someone on a Sims 3 forum has just told me that you can only have one steady relationship at a time in real life.

A person requested a mod for: "Polyamory including multiple boyfriend/girlfriend --> spouses."

The modder explained that he wouldn't write such a mod because in order to do so, you have to corrupt the relationship data, since in Sims 3 EAxis have decided that you can only set the "Steady" flag between pairs of sims.

I wrote: "Bah! Bloody EAxis. Why did they have to change the perfectly good Sims 2 code, where you could have multiple Boyfriends/Girlfriends but only one Husband/Wife? That's the same as it is in real life. Whereas the current thing where you can only have one Boyfriend/Girlfriend at a time is just unrealistic! *GRUMBLE*"

The person who has upset me wrote: "Um, in real life you can have only one steady, if you are that type of person."

I wrote: "Thank you for telling me that my relationships do not exist >:(. I have a boyfriend called Richard who I've been with for 13 years, and a girlfriend called Alexa who I've been with for 9 years. As far as I'm aware, relationships that have been going on for 9 years plus are pretty damn steady.

You can only have one legal husband or wife. You can have as many steady partners as you want, as long as everyone consents. You can even call more than one a "husband" or "wife" and have a commitment ceremony to prove that, as long as you are only legally married to one at a time.

Seeing as someone even used the word polyamory in their request for a mod, it shouldn't be surprising to learn that some people in the Sims community do that in real life too.

Actually upset now :(."

How dare he say that a person can only have one steady relationship at a time! Edit: Update
baratron: (introspection)
Life is strange at the moment. Still not on the right dose of carbamazepine because I am an idiot. I called the surgery last Wednesday to ask when the earliest telephone appointment with my doctor would be, and they said 11am tomorrow... so I didn't take it because I thought I'd be capable of getting into the surgery to see any old doctor before that. Duh. What I should have done was take the telephone appointment, and then if I did manage to see someone else, cancel it. It's not as if an appointment with my impossible-to-see doctor would have gone unfilled for very long.

So my head is in a strange place, and my sex drive is ratcheting up, and my moods are really quite unstable. And my concentration span is going all over the place - sometimes good, sometimes non-existant.

I'm also thinking that I need to do some serious thinking about my various relationships. Essentially, though I never thought it would be - my PhD is like a new primary partnership. I thought it would be more like a new job - it hadn't occurred to me just how life-filling (in the sense of "expanding to more than fill the time available") it would be. Let alone the fact it's always with me, financially-entwined, and of highest priority in my life. Really, it's a lot like a relationship, which is odd considering there's only one person in it. (Well, three, if I include my supervisors, but that just feels weird). I haven't had time for proper quality time with my other partners in months, but I don't want to split up with either of them because I really care about them, but my balance of time and spoons available are all out of whack. It's confusing.

It would really help with the feeling more in control of my life if I didn't live in an absolute fecking tip. I've no idea how we're going to get the house sorted out when I'm too tired during the week to do housework, and Richard keeps going away at the weekends for paintball events. What we need is to get it tidied up enough that we can get a cleaner. But we have too much random crap, and too much stuff that is actually quite important but looks like crap.

I'd quite like to play my bass guitar sometime, and go out to see bands, and have time to read books for pleasure, and fit in extra research that is non-essential but useful background reading. And I don't know how I can get it all in because going up to college three days a week eats too many of my spoons.

Don't actually want advice, by the way. This is more of an "everything is confusing and in flux" post than a "help, I don't know what to do" post. I am wondering just how much better my spoon levels will get when I finally get my Mac and can work from home instead of having to keep physically going to college. Might be that's all I need? :S

Awww.

Feb. 8th, 2010 10:41 pm
baratron: (poly)
Today's Questionable Content is absolutely squeesome.
baratron: (dino)
Just posted at great length about my Shiny dino experiment. Do read it if you're interested in things that are important to me (but aren't also important to the world-in-general). And yes, you're not missing anything - that really was my first post in over a week.

Still absolutely exhausted. Have spent most of the past week sleeping. Apparently 4 hours of dancing + a minute running outside to catch kasson as he was driving away = 6 nights of 12-15 hours sleep + back and hip pain + physical weakness (currently wearing a wrist support on my left hand WHICH I HATE) + general "glandiness". A good tradeoff? Yes! This is my life, and they're my damn spoons to spend. I only wish that it didn't cost me so many spoons to do things that other people my age would take for granted.

The only exciting thing that has happened this week is that I went to Brighton on Saturday to give Ludy her birthday presents (including this print). Missed all of Brighton Pride because I was too damned tired to get there during the day, and knew that my ability to walk was sorely limited. Did however meet L & her other partners [livejournal.com profile] oilrig and [livejournal.com profile] softfruit and have nice food with them, including cake. Had a strange experience at Brighton station featuring a rather drunk young girlie who insisted that I had been sitting next to her on the train down from Bognor that morning. Couldn't shake her off even after I showed her my ticket, which said clearly NORBITON not BOGNOR REGIS. Can't decide whether she was trying to scam me, fancied me, or was simply the worst pickpocket in the world. Eventually explained that I was going to meet my girlfriend who would not be impressed at my having another person along (did not mention my girlfriend's other girlfriend or boyfriend - occasionally, the default monocentric view of the world is useful!) and made a loud phone call in which I said I was going to The George. I then let drunk girlie wander off to talk to some other strangers, before diving into an alleyway in North Laine when she wasn't looking. Last time I saw her, she was asking for directions to The George (easy to identify when out of earshot, as it involved pointing further down the same street she was already in). Hopefully, she found someone with more spoons than me there to buy her some black coffee and put her on a train back home. Me, I managed less than two hours of socialising with people I already knew before going home with a headache from hell. 

I'm not going to BiCon. I officially can't afford it. Yes, there is a Helping Hand fund, but it is intended for people who can't afford to go to BiCon because they don't have money at all, not because they had money and spent it all on going to another continent to see their favourite band. Also I just paid my tax which was due on July 31st. Cut for mention of moneys. ). Blah.

Election!

Mar. 15th, 2009 01:10 am
baratron: (bi_pride)
Birkbeck Students' Union is having an election right now. Not that you'd know it if you didn't keep your eyes open. Unlike Imperial College Union elections, where you'd see posters up all over college, this one is strangely understated. Possibly due to the lack of noticeboards that students are allowed to put things up on? It's really different from the experience of walking down the Sherfield Walkway and being bombarded with election propaganda, that's for sure. The election started on Monday, I voted on Thursday, and got ballot paper number 75.

Bizarrely, one of my old friends from the Royal College of Science Union is one of the current sabbatical officers in Birkbeck SU. I still haven't spent enough time with him to know how he ended up studying there - the last thing I'd heard of him was that, having failed the second year at Imperial twice, he went to Queen Mary & Westfield, got a first in chemistry, and successfully completed a PhD. I'm not quite sure why he then decided to go to Birkbeck and study, er, law I think he said it was. I bumped into him after voting and commented on the fact that this election looks like it's going to be even less quorate than the RCSU elections used to be, and he said that the most people that have ever voted were 400. Four hundred people voting for sabbatical officers! That's just...

Anyway, one of the people standing had in her manifesto that she "identifies as bisexual, polyamorous and queer". So I voted for her. Not that having sexuality in common necessarily means that you'll get on with someone or they'll do a good job (witness the various trolls and idiots on, say, alt.polyamory, soc.bi, [livejournal.com profile] polyamory and[livejournal.com profile] bisexual), but I'm really rather pleased to live in a world where someone can declare that in their election manifesto. I remember when I was 21 and thought I was one of only about 20 polyamorous people in the country. Now there are so many of us that I don't even know them all!
baratron: (grinning)
Today Ludy & I went to see [livejournal.com profile] quatlet, who is now visible outside the uterus, much to the delight of [livejournal.com profile] thekumquat! He was born on 12th September and is currently very small. I can report that he has the normal number of arms, legs, heads etc. expected for humans, although as one of his parents is [livejournal.com profile] conflux, he may actually be part-elf. He has pointy ears, likes being sung to, and started crying when Ludy said he was going to grow up to be human. As far as newborn baby humans go, he is on the attractive side - not pink and blobby, has some hair, and does not look like Winston Churchill. Unfortunately he currently has a pointy head with a big scab on it from delivery, but it has already improved and should continue to do so. Hooray! [livejournal.com profile] ailbhe's advice on "things to bring a new mother stuck in the hospital" was spot on, thank you!

I don't think I have any right to Announce what [livejournal.com profile] quatlet's official name is, but I can probably tell you that one name combination was rejected because it would have made his initials FAF, and we bi poly types do quite enough faffing already, thankyouverymuch.

[livejournal.com profile] xanna and Jacob were also there for most of the time we were, and [livejournal.com profile] asrana turned up as we were leaving. Apparently she has been a star at kicking hospital administrative butt. The hospital itself was far too pink, and had at least one utterly disgusting visitor toilet. I took a photo of it to, um, send to the local newspaper or something. (I did want to check on its status later, but it was occupied and we were in a hurry due to spoon shortage.) The visitor toilets downstairs were very shiny and clean though.

Also, I swear that when I was waiting outside the room because of possible remaining lurgy plus $too_many_visitors, a random new father was chatting me up. Um... hello, I know we do non-monogamy, but I hadn't told him that, and his poor wife had only just given birth! Let her have the right to consent first, please!
baratron: (introspection)
Today I got to spend a large amount of fake money on the trip to Iceland. There are four people travelling: myself, and my three partners; and considering how late we're booking it wasn't actually that expensive. Nonetheless, in conjunction with some other things that have come up lately, it's got me thinking about my priorities in life.

When I was poor (when I was a student, during the horrible 13 months when I sat around at home too ill to function, and while working at a crappy telephone market research job) I was very material possession-oriented. All the money I had left over after paying my bills would go on Things - mostly, CDs and video games. I saw spending £25 on a game that contained 40 hours-worth of amusement as an investment - because I couldn't afford to do everything I wanted to, and I needed things to do that were relatively cheap. Getting entertainment for a mere 62.5p per hour was an excellent thing.

As I've been working harder and for more money, I seem to have got to a point where I've almost gone into reverse. Now, I only seem to regularly spend money on things that I need to stay alive: food, meds, cleaning materials for self & house, toilet paper, etc. I spend very little of my disposable income on entertainment or material possessions, because I already have too many Things cluttering up my house, and I don't have enough time to play/read/listen to everything I already own. I'm rich in money but poor in time, rather than the other way round. Instead, my money gets funnelled into a savings account (that will eventually become a pension, once spoons exist to get that organised) and left there. The only things that I spend large amounts of money on are education and travel. Going to museums, visiting friends around the world, seeing new places. Experiences and memories in my head, rather than physical objects. And, y'know, I'm totally okay with that.

People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, and the truth is "Nothing, really". I have a wishlist which I need to update with books, CDs and DVDs, and I'm happy to receive any of those items. But for the most part, I'd rather get to see my friends and do something interesting with them than receive yet more $stuff. The only things I really want are the trip as far north as possible on the Solstice (which I've been waiting 11 years for) and a large, glossy photograph taken at a professional photographer's of all my local chosen family, to be framed and mounted on the blank piece of wall in the study (which I've been wanting since my 30th birthday).

I think being an integer power of 2 years old is worthy of celebration, so I'm planning to have a party sometime over the summer. Not sure when or where, and of course the summer is already packed with other people's plans, making things difficult. Though I'm sure geek social fallacy #4 is bound to apply, I'd still like to invite everyone that I know and like to come along. And I'd be happier with people's presence at the party than with anything else.
baratron: (poly)
Slightly strange polyamory questionnaire, linked by [livejournal.com profile] mactavish. For people who are poly and monogamous partners of poly people. Apparently, preliminary results will be shared at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Meeting in San Diego on April 11, 2008. The principle (sic) investigator for this project is Anthropologist/Sexologist Dr. Leanna Wolfe who is based at Los Angeles Valley College. She may be contacted at LAWolfe@aol.com.

It only took me about 5 minutes to fill in. It doesn't really ask for identifying information. Some of the questions made me growl and gnash my teeth, but 'tis the way of things.
baratron: (lego)
In an attempt to tidy up my many open tabs prior to rebooting the laptop, have a link dump.

Interesting articles:
Polyamory is not about the sex, except when it is. Very long article which those of you into poly will find interesting. Followup comment by [livejournal.com profile] ratatosk, linked by... [livejournal.com profile] wispfox, I think.

Pleasure Town Is Invite Only! by [livejournal.com profile] mistful. Hilariously funny story about how a feminist-from-babyhood came across a traditional romance book at a young age and was Scarred For Life. Linked by, er, [livejournal.com profile] j00j, I think. (Yes, some of these links have been open for weeks).

How 'gay' became children's insult of choice, from the BBC News Magazine. I'm in two minds about whether the use of "gay" as a derogatory term is homophobic. I can see both sides of the argument. Though I tend to side with those who find it offensive, because there's nothing inherently crap or second-class about being gay and I don't like the meanings being linked in that way. But then what do we come back to? Cripple-bashing terms like "lame". Hrm.

World's best-known protest symbol turns 50, from the BBC News Magazine. About the CND logo and how it was coined. I like the idea that it's from the semaphore signs for N & D, meaning Nuclear Disarmament.

When Girls Will Be Boys, from the New York Times. An article about FTM transsexuals/transmen attending women's colleges. Linked in comments on Dykes to Watch Out For.

Video: BBC Micro creators reunite, from BBC News. Interview with Hermann Hauser from Acorn. Talks about how awesome and innovative the Beeb was, and how everything has ARM chips in these days.

See-saw to power African schools. Design student Daniel Sheridan has created a simple see-saw which generates enough electricity to light a classroom. Really great idea!
baratron: (poly)
It's been quite a week. TOO MUCH WORK combined with technological issues, and one of my dear ones suffering from a severe attack of the Drama Queen Who Eats Spoons And Gives None Back. (Said DQ has now stormed off in a massive explosion of rage and will be troubling my love no more, hooray!). Have also been very chronic fatigue-y, as in tired and achy all the time, while also having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and weird-ass dreams that have left me waking up panicky and shaky. One of these things may be connected to the other.

I have two half-written livejournal posts saved on the computer here that I ran out of time/energy to finish. Got to go to work soon (I only really put the laptop on to write an invoice). But I wanted to record that I went to bed last night at 3.30am and didn't get up today until 2.15pm (though I woke up at 7, and got woken up around 10, and again around 12), and consequently feel almost like a human being. Also, I feel very pleased with myself that I sent my partner a text message yesterday along the lines of "Enjoy your date with [other partner I have historically been jealous of]" and MEANT it. She deserved to have fun with someone after the stressful few days with the Drama Queen, and I was too busy for it to be me. So I was pleased that someone was available, even if I have had problems with them in the past. I feel all Mature Poly Person now.

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