baratron: (london)
Last night I went out for curry and ice cream in a clean t-shirt. And then proceeded not to spill any of it over myself. Who am I, and what have I done with h-l?!

The evening also featured a visiting [livejournal.com profile] brooksmoses. It was lovely to see him, just as it was to see [livejournal.com profile] epi_lj and [livejournal.com profile] clawfoot in May. If any more friends from the other side of the Pond have a burning urge to visit London, do come and see me :) I am under the impression that there is some big science fiction convention going on in a few weeks, so if any of you are coming over for that, do let me know...

I have been trying to sleep since 6.30 am and it is now 10.30 am. Conclusion: My sleep patterns are fubared. And yes, I meant "fubar" and not "fiber", thank you spillchucker. I have Plans for seeking medical attention, but it occurs to me that I shouldn't go running to my GP flailing about the state of my brain before I've done everything I agreed to do/have checked out from my last visit. So I have to go and see - or at least arrange appointments with - some other medical professionals first. Waah.
baratron: (endurance)
Happy 2014 to those to celebrate such things. I personally don't, nor do I make New Year's Resolutions. It's the wrong time of year where I live. Between winter viruses and chronic fatigue and seasonal affective disorder, my body's been in hibernation mode for the past month. Some days it's a miracle that I'm out of bed and dressed. So it's totally the wrong time of year to try making lifestyle changes. "Do more exercise and eat more healthily"... Not going to happen when my body just wants to sleep!

But it's still interesting reading other people's New Year Resolutions :)

The one thing I have been doing for the past couple of weeks is deliberately attempting to eat more fruit by buying bags of clementines and leaving them around the house. I eat plenty of vegetables, at least with my main meal of the day, and I generally drink innocent smoothie equivalent to "2 of your 5 a day", but I'm really bad at eating fruit even though I like it, because of the "hassle". So I'm trying to make sure that there's fruit lying around so I don't have to struggle down the stairs, don't have to wash anything, can just pick it up and eat it when I'm hungry and want something sweet.

I may be eating less chocolate as a result. We shall see.

Haven't done any College work in over a month, again. I've had a cold, or several colds in a row, since 3rd December and spent about 2 weeks too freaking wheezy to think. (It is a well-known fact amongst my asthmatic friends that not being able to breathe makes you stupid). Feel like I might be coming out of it, touch wood.

Of course, it would all be a lot easier if people didn't dose themselves up and carry on going to the shops as usual when contagious :/ My immune system's better than it has been in the past, the various supplements recommended by the Chronic Fatigue Clinic seem to be making a difference. But it's still terrible. This is not a request for advice.

I have mostly been sitting or lying around, reading books and playing video games. I've read a huge number of books. Haven't done anything creative though. Haven't really had enough brain.
baratron: (flasks)
You know what makes me really fuckin' angry? People who boast that they don't take any medications that are made in a lab. As I said to one of these loons today, you have no idea how lucky you are to have the CHOICE not to take prescription drugs. I personally have the choice of taking prescription drugs or dying.

I was explaining to some people who don't know me well about the delights of chronotherapy, and why today I got up at 2 am and will remain up until at least 2 pm. And said people were trying to convince me that I should try drinking alcohol or smoking pot for my sleep problems. Because, yeah, that's a bloody great idea for someone on several medications which say not to mix it with alcohol, and who as a result of chronic fatigue syndrome has no tolerance for it at all (as in a few sips of something alcoholic puts me under the table and feeling awful). And who is extremely asthmatic and starts retching and puking when even vaguely near pot smoke.

Oh yeah, and apparently "weed won't cause variable effects with other medications". I'm on carbamazepine, which is a cytochrome P450 inducer, and that is affected by somewhere between half and two-thirds of all other medications, including natural remedies. The chemicals in pot, of which there are many, could make me need to increase or decrease the dosage of any or all of my meds. If I could find academic papers stating which particular biochemical pathways are affected by it, then I might consider it. But the fact it's illegal means there is insufficient information about drug interactions. The other problem with it being illegal is you can never be certain what dose you're getting. I prefer drugs where the dosage is known.

*stab stab stab*

In other news, I have a new wheelchair. It's a new-to-me wheelchair rather than new. It was made in 1998. However, it is built like a fricking TANK. It is higher off the ground than my old one, "for a more important appearance on the road"(*) and also very, very red. I'll link you to the eBay auction for now because I lack spoons to take my own photos. There's also more pictures in this brochure, although mine doesn't have the riser or tilt functions, not least of all because I don't need them.

(*) Engrish phrase from the Di Biasi tricycle catalogue, circa 5 years ago.
baratron: (introspection)
Okay, I have a question. How do you know it's time to get up?

Don't say "because my alarm goes off". Let's assume it isn't a work day, and you can get up at whatever time you like. How do you know when that is?

Also, if you have morning meds to take before food, how do you make sure they get taken at the same time each day?

Answer the question before reading my answer. )
baratron: (endurance)
Life's been a bit difficult lately.

I have screwed up my left leg in an impressive manner. I keep stretching my legs while still mostly unconscious, and somehow OVERstretching my left leg and waking up screaming. My thigh has been numb for weeks and sometimes I have odd shooting sensations up and down my leg. The oddest thing is a kind of burning sensation, but like ice rather than fire. Fortunately, that doesn't happen very often.

Neither my GP nor physiotherapist can work out what exactly I've done. It's clearly some sort of nerve issue, and it's clearly not very serious since I have most of my sensation; but it's weird and unpleasant and I don't like it. Also, whenever my left leg is bad, I end up throwing my weight onto my right leg as I walk around the house, and then it gets damaged as well. Joy!

On Saturday, I randomly stretched my legs, managed to overstretch my left leg YET AGAIN, and this time it feels as though I've actually ripped something inside because not only is my thigh numb, it's all puffy just above my knee. It's better than it was, but still not good, and it's taking all my spoons to deal with it. ALL my spoons. My ability to injure myself in my sleep is prodigious, but I need to figure out what the hell I keep doing to injure it over and over.

Also, partly as a result of the above, my sleep patterns are fucked. Absolutely FUBAR. I seem to now be on a cycle of waking up between 7 and 10 pm, and falling asleep about 10 am. This is so very broken I can't even describe it. And the sleeping pills I've been given, which work splendidly for when I can't sleep because of stress, do nothing for when I can't sleep because I'm not tired enough because I basically didn't come installed with the software for functioning circadian rhythms. I can be ridiculously tired - falling over with physical tiredness - and my brain still isn't sleepy.

Oh yes! And another thing! I managed to lose my Disabled Railcard on Friday 10th May! It was in my pocket in UCL Library, then suddenly not in my pocket by the time I got to the bus stop 5 minutes away. And I spent 45 minutes looking and asked in all the security lodges and so on. Clearly, someone picked it up. Whether they are now going to spend 2.5 years claiming reduced-price travel to which they are not entitled is a question which has been bothering me greatly, because it has my name on it, but not a photo. I have paid the £10 administration fee and have been sent a new card, but there's no way to cancel the old card.

There are issues to do with College which I can't even be bothered to attempt to write about right now. The only reason this post exists is that I've edited my irc rants into semi-coherent English. Also there is other stuff which I am not posting in a public post. Like all of this, really, none of it is the sort of thing that people need to worry about: but it is a source of stress for me.

It's really been one damned thing after another. None of them very major in themselves, but together overwhelming my ability to cope. I want a bit of breathing space without anything else going wrong for a while :S
baratron: (endurance)
My sleep patterns are completely jangled and upside down again. I worked very hard on chronotherapy, staying up later by a couple of hours each day and waking up a bit later... but then I came over randomly ill with a raging fever and had to go back to bed. Now I'm back to waking up at 1 am and going to sleep about lunchtime. This is so utterly, utterly non-ideal I cannot tell you - though at least this particular sleep pattern is more functional than the one that involves waking up at 8pm and falling asleep around 9 am, since at least I am awake during some of the daytime.

I have no functioning brain. None at all. I need to see my doctor pretty urgently to see what she says about the hospital's bright ideas for chronic fatigue recovery. But she randomly wasn't in yesterday, and is never in on Thursdays, so I need to try to get an appointment tomorrow. Yay. Hoping she agrees to everything and I can get started this week.

Apparently the Department of Work and Pensions is paying me lots of money in back DLA. I got the letter confirming DLA last week and the letter confirming the payment this morning. Gosh. Will reserve jubilation until the money is firmly in my account, though.
baratron: (endurance)
I'm trying to drag my sleep pattern back onto something approximating normal for my time zone - or at least, normal for me. Today I woke up at 1.30 am and will be going to sleep sometime around 3 pm. So tired. I'm sitting here in brilliant sunshine nodding off and ready to fall over. Oddly, I actually woke up feeling like I'd had enough sleep.

I have far too many tabs open, so in an attempt to clear them, I shall share links.

Random gifs (or jpegs):
In Case Of Fire - Hostel priorities.
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain? - So very true.
I've found the ideal job for some of you - Feline Lap Surrogate.
OMG, I want this octopus sculpture. The plant/wolf hybrid as well.
Oh, the Huge Manatee.
Inside the Robot Restaurant. Sadly not wheelchair accessible.

I also have serious links, but am far too tired to write commentary... so I'll leave those until I have a brain.
baratron: (endurance)
Blargh. Definitely having a bipolar mixed state, with manic and depressive symptoms at the same time. It's frustrating as all hell because some of the things that relieve depression are totally contraindicated for a mixed state: I can't e.g. use my lightbox, because I'm already agitated, jittery, and overstimulated. I'm going to see how it goes for a bit longer, and then go to the doctor if it doesn't improve.

Lovely symptoms for my records. )
baratron: (sleepy)
Blargh. Have basically done nothing for over a week. Was ill, went to the doctor, otherwise stayed in bed or lay around on the sofa. There's nothing quite like having a nasty virus while it's the time when a woman bleeds for a week but doesn't die. My evil gall bladder decided to start poking me again, for several days, but I refused to give in to its demands. (Gall bladders are remarkably sensitive to oestrogen levels - it's why it's stereotypically "women" and "fat people" who get gall bladder problems. I knew the pain would sod off once I was past that point in my cycle). Read a few books, played a lot of Oblivion. No functioning brain for anything else. My sleep patterns have become well and truly inverted.

And fixing them is hard, because it is Too Dark. Hilariously, the UK and Europe are still in "summer time" (or daylight savings, as the Americans call it). Australia is in "summer time", it doesn't make any logical sense for us Northern Hemispherans to be as well!

Tomorrow I have "volunteered" myself to be in College for 1pm, since it's the only time in the whole week that Philip is available to demonstrate the technique I need to use for the next part of my synthesis. Hooray - I love getting up in the morning! (Yes, it will be morning - I'll have to be up by 11.30am at the absolute latest to get in on time). I also really hope that none of my chemicals have decomposed sitting around for a couple of weeks waiting for me to get in and finish the synthesis. They're supposed to be stable, but I have no proof of that. Urgh.

It's officially Time To Start Using the Lightbox. I'm charging it right now.

*grump*

Apr. 27th, 2012 12:18 am
baratron: (black)
I am currently "enjoying" a "SURPRISE!" period :( Thinking about it, it's right if you ignore when my last one happened (which was ridiculously late) and instead count 2 x 28 days from the one before. Apparently, my body/hormones are going for some sort of extreme 5 week/3 week cycle now.

Nonetheless, I have wasted the whole day asleep, and my sleep pattern may indeed be as broken as it was before. We shall see.

A surprise period explains why I was so utterly exhausted & tearful the other night - it was clearly PMS. I prefer that as an explanation to "my drugs have stopped working". Still, I really feel like all I do is have menstrual cycles these days. I'm either having a period or having mittelschmerz or waiting for my period to start. And I'm sure I have at least another 20 years of this to look forward to! Yay!

In other news, I need good wishes for the safe location of my lab chair. It was "temporarily" living in my office because there wasn't enough space in the lab, and I hadn't started doing any synthesis yet. Then "they" made us move office - twice, in the space of a week. I didn't bother to go in during this because my sleep patterns were screwed up; also, the email I got was after the event, which pissed me off since if they'd sent it 12 hours earlier, I could have moved my own stuff. Dragged myself in yesterday (which I could do with congratulations for) only to find they have actually bought us new desks!! and almost all of the furniture from the old office has disappeared. (We still have the same crappy broken chairs though - I'd have preferred to keep my old desk and have a new chair). I've lost the contents of my old desk because the drawers were locked - though it's only a box of tea, packet of paracetamol & box of sanitary towels, so not the end of the world. But I'm rather concerned about what's happened to the lab chair - which belongs to me not to College, cost rather a lot of money, and was funded through Student Finance England. They're not going to pay for another chair if some idiots at College have thrown the old one out!

And no, I don't need advice about this just yet. I know who to talk to. It's just an underlying worry to go on top of all my usual anxiety.
baratron: (sleepy)
Okay. My sleep "pattern" is now so firmly lodged in upside-down mode that I'm going to have to take Serious Action to fix it.

I am going to rush through a chronotherapy sleep reset cycle WAY faster than you're supposed to, because the other option is continuing to be non-functional. Yay.

So if you happen to phone, text, or email the address with my real name in it this week, please do so during the following times of day:
Today until 12 pm.
Wednesday midnight until 3pm.
Thursday 3am until 6pm.
Friday 6am until 9pm.

Times may be reorganized later in the week depending on how things go! Also, those of you who live outside the UK will have to convert this to your local time... so to avoid confusion, just use my "baratron" or "astra" email addresses, which don't make my phone beep!

And yes, I could set the options on my phone to turn off beeping on all emails and texts... but do you honestly think I'll remember that when I've been awake 15 hours and am dropping on my feet? When I'm overtired, I can barely manage coherent English, let alone thought...!

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

baratron: (flasks)
So wrecked right now. So very emo.

Went to the doctor on Friday 23rd March to discover that the reasons why she wanted me to reduce my dose of trazodone had nothing to do with its sedating effect. No, the reasons given were:

a) It's an "older medication" and now that the "older generation of GPs" has retired, there "aren't enough people in the practice who are familiar with prescribing it". Um.

I don't know what you think about this, but my reaction was Read more... )

b) It's the last medication that was added, so it should be the first medication to be reduced. Read more... )

So, yeah, I am pissed off.

Increased my dose of trazodone back up to 100 mg, and started feeling better almost immediately - but now I'm back to feeling shitty again, and don't know why. Definitely anxious. I "have" to be reading fiction or playing video games all the time because I stress out as soon as I think about things. My sleep patterns are entirely dysfunctional and inverted relative to the time zone that I'm in. I think that I need to find a new physiotherapist (yes, physio- not psycho-) since my old one retired, and the NHS in this area don't have anyone specifically trained in chronic hyperventilation. I've reached the point where I go to bed and can't fall asleep for hours because I can't relax because I can't breathe. And then I can't wake up because I've been having nightmares all night because my breathing is messed up. It's all very circular.

Also I've been doing a bit more tutoring for money (2 students per week rather than 1 - but that's 8 hours per week rather than 2), and it's also fairly obvious that the extra talking is not helping at all. I explained very clearly before I started why I couldn't go to the student's house, but now I'm getting emotional blackmail on me to go there. This should be easy enough to dispense with logic, but the mother "conveniently" loses the ability to understand English. I don't need this shit!

I'm pretty sure that the key is better breathing. I think that's at the root of everything.

But oh - how stressful it is having to try to find a new physiotherapist when you're already too stressed to function :(

home again

Oct. 31st, 2011 07:12 am
baratron: (boots)

Just in case anyone was concerned, the boy & I have been home since Thursday noon-time. I slept through pretty much all of Thursday, Friday & Saturday, and now I have the worst jetlag imaginable. Argh!

The holiday continued to be awful - at one point I took a photo of Richard under a sign that said "I need a vacation to recover from my vacation" - but I'm too tired to make a list right now. We're alive, mostly uninjured, and it was only the TSA who stole from us. Unfortunately fixing everything that went wrong cost money we don't have (me because I haven't been working due to illness, Richard because he never did get the money for some paintball gun designs - don't ask, it's reached legal dispute stage) and I am currently more than £1000 overdrawn. Could be worse!

(If the Inland Revenue paid me back the £700 tax refund I was due LAST year, this would all be easier too... Gah. Advice not wanted right now, honestly).

I wonder if our travel insurance will pay out for items that the TSA stole from us because they didn't understand their own rules Worth a try, I suppose.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

baratron: (goggles)
One of the reasons I described the CBT I've been doing for sleep problems as "useless" is the fact that every Thursday night, I end up staying awake the whole night because I'm procrastinating doing the exercises I'm supposed to have done during the week. The obvious question is "Why don't you just get started, as starting is always the hardest thing?", but if I knew why I get too stressed out to start, I'd be able to do something about it.

It doesn't help that I really resent having to keep a sleep diary. There's a recovering anorexic who writes a column called "An Apple A Day" in the Body & Soul section of The Times, and she was saying only the other day how many therapists recommend Cut for the benefit of anyone who'll be stressed out by it ). I have exactly the same problem with a sleep diary. It emphasises the fact I haven't managed to go to bed before 5am any day in the week, and makes me feel wretched - which is hardly a good state to try to recover in!

And I wrote all over the forms before I even started seeing this therapist that I didn't want to sleep at the same hours as other people in my timezone. 3 am-midday works for me, as long as I can keep it stable. The problem is that illness, chronic fatigue, or - yes, distraction or lack of willpower makes my bedtime drift later, so my waking up time drifts later, and I end up not getting out of bed until 5 pm. That is a problem. Getting up at noon isn't. Focusing on the hours I sleep as the problem totally misses the things I need to work on. I didn't appreciate being bullied into agreeing to "try" going to bed between 2 am and 4 am and getting up between noon and 2 pm (he wanted noon to 1pm, I said "Why is the going to bed window 2 hours but the getting up window 1 hour? That doesn't make sense"). Oh yeah, he wanted the going to bed window to be 1 am to 3am and I freaked - I love those couple of hours after midnight when it's quiet and I can think.

I'm pissed off because I don't think I've been doing any of the things that CBT is supposed to be about. One of my friends is going through CBT exercises in his livejournal about difficult situations, each time looking at: Action --> Belief --> Consequences --> Disputing Belief. That looks like useful and valid work. I was under the impression that CBT is about teasing out negative thoughts at the back of your brain and then challenging them with positive beliefs. Well, I haven't even done any thought challenging - nothing serious enough for me to remember, take home and be able to use. It's just been arguing about why I go to bed so late. A few useful things have come out of that, but telling me to go to bed earlier doesn't make me get tired earlier!

And today is supposed to be my last session - apparently you only get 6 sessions now, not 8. I am quite thoroughly pissed off and considering finding a private therapist, one who is properly experienced in CBT for sleep difficulties and understands what delayed sleep phase syndrome is instead of trying to fob me off with the same bloody "sleep hygiene" stuff that Does Not Work.

I wish the therapist I saw for medical phobia was still around - she was brilliant.
baratron: (sleepy)
Eh. So, I sat down to work on some stuff for my cognitive behavioural therapy this evening, and instead spent something like 4 hours dealing with some epic wank online. Given how great my health and energy levels are, you can bet it wasn't the kind of wank that I had spare spoons to deal with - but I had to, because it was making me angry to the point of physically shaking.

I also found out what the weird thing that happens to me when I'm trying to get to sleep sometimes is called. A hypnic jerk or hypnagogic jerk, apparently. I was always worried that was some sort of seizure-type thing, but apparently it's completely benign and normal. However, it's more common in people with irregular sleep schedules.

My sleep schedule the past week has been completely fubar. I've been trying to get it sorted, but it's actually got worse. Joy and bliss! This may be due to the fact that I've run out of the high dose vitamin D capsules. I'm under the impression that I'm supposed to give it a few weeks and then have another blood test (so they can see what my vitamin D levels are when I'm not taking it as a supplement), but the pain in my legs is so freaking bad that I may have to start it up again to avoid screaming.

I've found another place that does vegan afternoon tea - this time with cream - and for only £9. Are you interested, [livejournal.com profile] nitoda? The scones still look a bit flat, but the cakes are impressive.

Right... back to my worksheets on "Overcoming Avoidance". (Yes, really).
baratron: (bi_pride)
Apologies for not posting anything in ages again. I have even more half-written posts now!

Last week I had a cold, and the snot has continued most of this week. Blah.

Portal 2 is eating my life. Also I am doing cognitive behavioural therapy about my sleep problems, which may help in the long run.

Must post the interesting links that are cluttering up my browsers. All of them. I have five different Firefox profiles, and they're all cluttered with stuff that I'm saving - even the one called "start blank"!

Tomorrow I'm going to the Oxford not-a-BiFest. Wasn't sure if I was going to be well enough because of the snot, but today was a gloriously sunny day and I have been outside for lots of it. I will be having Fun With Trains, since the most sensible route becomes Railway Replacement Buses at 8pm, and they are not guaranteed to be accessible. So I have to come home by a different route to the one that I'm going up on. Fortunately, it isn't too insane. In booking my Assisted Travel I managed to convince them that Oxford --> Basingstoke --> Surbiton was vastly preferable to Oxford --> Basingstoke --> Clapham Junction --> Norbiton, considering I can just get a bus or taxi home from Surbiton. Going back up to Clapham Junction and down again would add about 45 minutes onto the journey. But I was still on the phone for about 35 minutes, which is ridiculous compared to the amount of effort it takes to book a journey if you can do stairs. (In fact, most people wouldn't even bother to prebook a journey of this type, given that 2/3 of the trains are ordinary commuter trains). Hmm.

I also have a new phone, as mentioned recently - an HTC Desire Z. Now I need recommendations for Android apps for:
  • a good livejournal client (something like Semagic on Windows would be awesome - Xjournal on Mac OS X is usable but nasty).
  • a notepad-type program (emailing or texting myself seems a bit stupid in most circumstances when I could simply tap in a note).
  • an irc client that can handle multiple servers at once.
  • Anything else which I "must" get.

What a disjointed post! Oh well.
baratron: (squid!)
It looks like it was a nice day today. Why did I sleep through all the sunshine?

Oh yeah, because I have chronic fatigue and a sleep disorder :/
baratron: (wolfy)
Last time I did chronotherapy to sort out my sleeping patterns, I managed to sabotage it by forgetting to rearrange my medication times too. As a result, I got my sleep-wake cycle to a sensible point (waking up at 8 am), but then collapsed in a heap with severe depression, slept for 20 hours, and ended up screwed up again.

I'm planning to not do that this time.

So here are my utterly fascinating plans for the week:
Wake up Monday 20:00, go to sleep Tuesday 11:00
Wake up Tuesday 23:00, go to sleep Wednesday 14:00
Wake up Thursday 02:00, go to sleep Thursday 17:00
Wake up Friday 05:00, go to sleep Friday 20:00
Wake up Saturday 08:00, go to sleep Saturday 23:00 AND STAY ON THIS PATTERN.

I have no idea whether this will work, especially given that I felt so rotten, wobbly, tired and ill that I went to bed at 04:00 before perking up again, but We Shall See. I can predict that I will be feeling bitterly lonely on Wednesday morning, so if anyone feels like a phone call/irc chat, that might be a good time...
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
Yes, I have actually been dead. I'm getting better though.

I've had some sort of virus which would probably have been incredibly minor in a healthy person - in an Interesting Science Experiment sort of way, I've managed to infect Richard, and he is basically carrying on with life as normal apart from coughing a bit and sucking throat lozenges. But with all my other health stuff, it's knocked me out since Sunday night. I've been asleep a lot of the time, having hideous snot attacks, and asthma.Today's the first day I've been well enough to look at the computer for more than 5 minutes at a time - although I'm feeling exhausted and headachy just from reading livejournal for an hour.

Although now that I'm starting to get better from the cold, my period would have to start. Argh. At least I can be comforted by the fact that there is something worse than period pain and a miserable cold at the same time - and that is period pain, a miserable cold and gallstone pain! Been there, done that, very glad my gallstones are mostly all dissolved now :)

Also glad that when I called the GP's surgery on Friday at 9.30am to ask when my doctor would next be in, they offered me an appointment at 4.10pm. THIS IS UNHEARD OF! Normally getting a same-day appointment with my doctor requires phoning on the dot of 8.30am when appointments open, and ideally physically going to the surgery to queue. He's given me this stuff called Baclofen which is a muscle relaxant, and is working wonderfully on the pain I've had for a couple of months from chronic hyperventilation/fatigue. It's not addictive and is safe for use in WAY higher doses (I'm taking 5mg a day, and the maximum dose used in severe spasticity is 100mg a day), so I can basically take it until I don't need it any more.

I just wish I'd known years ago that a drug actually existed that could alleviate my chronic pain, because I've spent years with the only known treatments being rest, strapping, and hot baths - none of them particularly effective. At least now I know enough biochemistry to appreciate what a GABA agonist is.

The biggest problem I have right now is that my sleep patterns have become completely inverted, again. I went to bed fairly early on Sunday night because I was exhausted (where "fairly early" for a night owl-type person is before 2 am), and then didn't wake up properly until 8pm. Then couldn't get to sleep before 8am, and now I'm just on this totally backward sleep cycle of waking up at 8pm and falling asleep at 8am. Hrm. I need to get it sorted because it's BiCon next weekend and I'd quite like to not be asleep throughout the entire day.

Have a lot more stuff to talk about, but I need to get off the computer now because my head is too icky. Hopefully write more tomorrow.
baratron: (pokemon girl)
Or, y'know, I could force myself to stay up until 1pm yesterday, fail to fall asleep until gone 3.30 pm despite being tired to the point of wanting to kill things, sleep until 1.30 am, get up, eat something and take meds, and feel so disgusting that I then fell asleep again, and wake up this morning at 8.20 am feeling like a human being.

I have no idea if I will now stay awake happily until about 11 pm or midnight, but it seems worth a shot. Like my tenses in the above paragraph. Ewww.

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