Whereas Richard has been saying that I'm bipolar for years, which is why I kept looking up the symptom list to see if it had changed. I suspect you haven't actually seen me at my worst. There was a Sunday quite recently when I came down to Brighton and was annoyed and irritable about everything, but you may have interpreted that as "just tiredness", and I was going out of my way to try not to be too bad-tempered with you.

I've been mood disordered for so long that I'm generally good at realising when my brain chemistry is wonky and compensating for it. It's rare for me to have real attacks of madness except in front of Richard, my mum, or Tim and Peter. I think Alexa's seen a few too. Lately, I haven't been able to do that, and I've been visibly crazy a couple of times in front of other people - including Richard's potential new boss, which was just embarrassing. I didn't mean to be completely psycho, but I couldn't help it either.