in my dreams i have a dog

[baratron]

I have acquired some empathy for the people who are childless-not-by-choice. Not because I have suddenly acquired some desire to have human children, heaven forbid! But because there's this huge dog-shaped hole in my life that is getting bigger every day.

I don't know when I first decided I wanted a dog. I used to be afraid of them. Then I stopped being afraid of them but considered them thoroughly inferior in comparison to beautiful, intelligent wolves. Then I started noticing dogs around me everywhere I went. And for well over a year now, I've actively wanted to have one of my own.

I know I'm not in a position to have a dog yet. My life's too chaotic. Both Richard & I work silly hours, and are home at erratic times. Right now we might randomly decide to go out for dinner any night of the week. We couldn't do that with a dependent creature who needed us to feed it and take it out. If we had a dog, I would have to take it out for a walk every day, regardless of what the weather or my health was doing. We'd need to be organised about holidays and staying with other people. And we simply don't have enough garden for a dog. But even when we moved here, I was saying that if we ever moved house, it would be to a place with a garden big enough for a dog. Other people move house because they want room for kids, we'd move house to make room for a dog.

When I mentioned this to my best friends last year, they responded extremely negatively. One of them said "Don't get a dog, I'm scared of dogs", the other said "I don't like dogs, I'm allergic to them; we won't come over any more if you get one". So I didn't talk to them about it for ages. But then I had a weekend where there were dogs everywhere, and they were so doggy, and I was telling them about this, and they said exactly the same things again. I said to Richard "It's not fair - would they say that if we wanted to have human children? 'Don't have a child, we're scared of children'?". Richard said "I would!". Hrm. They also pointed out that I will almost certainly be allergic to dogs, because I'm allergic to all known mammals, more or less. But that doesn't bother me, even with my allergies being as bad as they are - I need a dog. Sod the allergies, I'll just take more drugs, whatever.

Last week, I saw this horrible man dragging a young dog along the road by its lead. It was an Alsatian puppy - well, not really a puppy anymore, but not an adult dog either - and it was beautiful. And it just seemed so unfair that someone who was treating his dog like dirt had a dog and I didn't. I was really upset by it. Today I went to see a student who has a dog, and I got to have a big doggy cuddle, and he smelled of wet dog - and that smelled good. You know how people who want to have babies say that human babies smell nice, even though they always smell of nothing but baby vomit and poo, and are just vile reeky leaky creatures? Well, this dog smelled of dog, and it was lovely.

Clearly, my dog clock is ticking.

We need to get some other pet that needs less effort. A lizard or something, that you feed once or twice a week, and just have to keep warm & clean. Even that'll mean learning a lot and finding a vet who can cope with lizards. And I want to do some voluntary work with dogs - there must be some organisation who arranges people to take old people's dogs out for walks when they can't manage it? Or maybe I could go to Battersea Dogs Home or something? Maybe I could manage by looking after other people's dogs, though I suspect it'll be as ultimately frustrating as the childless-not-by-choice people looking after other people's babies :X

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Around here, the dog-adoption places welcome volunteers who exercise and play with the dogs. Also, the main dog-adoption place and some of the dog-rescue organizations rely on "foster-homes" for dogs.

Taking care of someone else's dog while they are on vacation, or regularly walking a dog for someone else who can't manage it, would at least give you a better idea of how close your life is to fitting in a permanent dog.

Also, dog owners seem to vary just like parents of children do -- there are some houses where visitors have no choice but to sit on the dirty couch and be climbed on, and other houses where one can visit without being drooled on by child or dog if one doesn't want to.

[redbird]

Yes. Dogs can be trained to stay off the furniture and not to jump on visitors. Not all dog owners do this; it does take some time, as well as the willingness to say no to the animal even when it's being very cute.

I don't have a dog now, and probably won't again, though I was fond of the one my parents got when I was ten. (Reasons not to get another are both the logistics you discuss (a cat needs love and care, but not two walks a day even when it's snowing heavily or wind chill -15 C) and that none of my partners care for dogs.

[kake]

Sixty Plus might have some dog-walking volunteer opportunities.

I'm well familiar with the dog shaped hole, and the child shaped one.

[geminigirl]

Some dogs are less allergenic than others. If you did decide to get a dog, you could quite likely find one that was compatible with your immune system. But, dogs require a great deal of effort and attention, and may not be a compatible pet with an irregular schedule-that's one of the reasons I didn't have one when I was living alone. It just wouldn't have worked.

Getting some dog-time might be good for you. You might find it satisfying, or at least find that it gives you more insight as to what kinds of dogs you are and aren't compatible with should you decide to adopt one in the future.

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

When Gus the Big Mean Bunny & I wanted a dog but couldn't (for the same reasons -- working crazy and unpredictable hours, no garden, etc.), we got a guinea pig instead. He wanted a cat, but at that time I was a decidedly anti-cat person and utterly refused, so we got the largest rodent that was not a rabbit we could find (we both hated rabbits).

And Perkins was a wonderful pet (see icon) and I miss him still, but he wasn't really a dog and didn't do much to fill the dog-shaped hole we had.

I would suggest that if you want a lizard, get a lizard, but if you want a dog, don't expect a lizard to do.

[bfo.livejournal.com]

my sister has just got a dog, she lives in a 2 bed flat with no garden.

much as I don't think these are ideal conditions for a dog and don't think their choice was best considering they want kids soon after they marry (a staffordshire terrier) she already loves it and it loves going out for drives with her.

I'm allergic to dogs and cats etc. however i would never ask someone not to get something just because of me, if I were scared of dogs it could be shut in a different room when i visit and as you said it's easy enough to deal with being allergic.

So if you got a dog what kind would you like? something big and wolfy looking?

[kshandra]

Sod the allergies, I'll just take more drugs, whatever.

Heh - you should talk to iceblink. Hideously allergic to cats - to everything, really - and she has five (okay, four plus the one that came with her husband's partner when she moved in).

[mistdog.livejournal.com]

I had no dog between the ages of 24 and 30, and I felt much the same. Somehow being a dog owner is part of my self-identity and without one, something was missing. So I bought a house with a garden and got Xena.

As other people have commented, dog charities often welcome volunteers, especially for walkies. You could see if there's a Dogs Trust centre near you; they keep some older dogs who can't be rehomed due to ongoing health problems needing constant medical care (some other UK dog charities would just destroy such dogs). Those dogs need social contact like any other, and that might be a way of getting dog contact time without being tempted to adopt one before you're ready.

[judiff]

people should have furry people and/or small people if they want them and can look after them.
there was a dog that i like once - it was a retierd greyhound (well it was still a greyhound but it was retierd form racing) and it did a lot of cat things with how it's body was. And dragon things. But it did still make us sniffle. Only i think with dogs the allergy stuff can be less bad becos you can wash them with the allapet chemicals which are supposed to help (there is like one for cats too but washing cats is not-fun).
There is a place for sad dogs near here and they always want people to go and play with them and fuss them and walk them.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Volunteering sounds like a good solution for the short term. You can find out whether you're allergic and how badly, and I'm sure there are dogs who need attention somewhere nearby.

On practice pets: A lizard can actually be more difficult to cope with than a dog, because it doesn't ask for things or give affection rewards. Big, interactive pets that pester you are easier that way. (Maybe you don't have nightmares about forgetting pets, but I do, and it's because I know how easily I forget to water my plants.)

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Don't get a lizard as a dog-substitute. They're really very different in the way they interact with humans and are unlikely to scratch the same itch. They also have rather fragile immune systems (because they can't raise their body temperature to kill off an infection), while also being capable of giving humans quite nasty infections if they bite because they have bacteria in their saliva that are harmless to them, but not to humans.