Yes, but I was hoping that I was wrong! Every time something happened to confirm my theory that he was slowly leaving by stealth, something else happened to confirm that he was still in the band. He was writing songs with the other two only a couple of months ago. But I'm pretty certain he's telling the truth and it's work that's the problem - I've had jobs that have taken over my life to the extent that my hobbies have felt like chores, and if it's not fun anymore, why continue?
I'm hoping that once he leaves, he's not going to be an ex-member of the band. Ex-member would imply he was going away and never having anything to do with the rest of them ever again, and that would make me too sad for words. I'd prefer the idea of what happens when particularly-esteemed professors at universities retire, and they get granted Emeritus status. No one expects an Emeritus Professor to do any work (because they've retired), they have no obligations to publish stuff, but they're welcome to get involved if they want to.
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Still sad, though.
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FWIW, I totally get it.
*more hugs*
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Waaah, now I'm crying again...