My mum: ...don't know what you could do, I suppose [your brother] could walk you down the aisle Me: what? I'm not planning on being walked down the aisle by anyone. Mum: [is aghast] [splutters a bit] Me: look, the tradition is rooted in the patriarchy, women as property, I'm not chattel... Mum: oh for crying out loud! It's not about property, it's chivalry and guidance and protection and... Me: oh for crying out loud yourself! What exactly am I going to need protection from? There's no danger! And I won't need guidance because I'm hardly going to get lost, am I!
[Later, when I related this to Marcus] Marcus: we should have someone dress up in a bear suit and hide behind a pillar. And no one else would be able to see it except her!
M and I walked in together. Kingston registry office is a lovely place to get married, even on an overcast day in october.
"The only reason I would need assistance down the aisle of the church would be if I was in the wheelchair you are dead set against me using. Stop being an arse about the chair, and I might let you push me in it."
Actually, we're getting married in a registry office, and my wheelchair is electric. But the THOUGHT of saying that to him is so funny that I can't stop laughing!
i was thinking of something long these lines - maybe tell him if he could only to come down the aisle with you if you were both in wheelchairs (for the symmetry)?
1) There is no aisle 2) If there were, I would be making my own way down it, kthx 3) Even if that needed a wheelchair 4) And even if I wanted a person, you didn't make the top 100 shortlist 5) There is no aisle
(tempted to add (6) There is no wedding, at least until after the event...)
I *have* thought that a ceremony involving a woman supported by her mother and a man supported by his father could be particularly moving. And with same-gender parents, it would seem much less that the offspring is "owned by" the parent.
However, we're not doing it. We want to be together at the start, to symbolize that this is the formalizing of an existing relationship, NOT the beginning of a new one.
When artan_eter and I got married, we each walked to center with our pre-existing spouses.
(When artan_eter and whispercricket got married, they were each walked to the chuppah by both their parents. And his parents didn't even kill each other.)
We want to be together at the start, to symbolize that this is the formalizing of an existing relationship, NOT the beginning of a new one. This was our thought/ plan as well. Much happier connotations :-)
At Lis and my wedding, each of us came in attended by both of our parents. We didn't even think about the whole "giving away" and "property" and so forth aspects of it -- we just didn't want any of the four of them to miss out on that part.
Obviously, doing it that way completely changes the context and dynamic. Worked for us, which doesn't mean that it would work for any other set of people. :)
Nah. If baratron was being given away to someone other than Richard it'd be Liz Enthusiasm or Sean T Drinkwater. If we give baratron a surprise spouse on the day, it has to be someone where it won't cause a scene...
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Number2: Cos you're not doing that traditional stuff?
Number3: Cos your dad is a pain in the arse?
Errr... Will think of more while at shops for milk!
Argh!
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Number 5: Even if I was property, I do not belong to my father!
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Hell, my wee sister who is Miss Traditional herself isn't doing the giving away thing at all. Solves a lot of problems
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Me: what? I'm not planning on being walked down the aisle by anyone.
Mum: [is aghast] [splutters a bit]
Me: look, the tradition is rooted in the patriarchy, women as property, I'm not chattel...
Mum: oh for crying out loud! It's not about property, it's chivalry and guidance and protection and...
Me: oh for crying out loud yourself! What exactly am I going to need protection from? There's no danger! And I won't need guidance because I'm hardly going to get lost, am I!
[Later, when I related this to Marcus]
Marcus: we should have someone dress up in a bear suit and hide behind a pillar. And no one else would be able to see it except her!
M and I walked in together. Kingston registry office is a lovely place to get married, even on an overcast day in october.
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Or something :-(
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Actually, we're getting married in a registry office, and my wheelchair is electric. But the THOUGHT of saying that to him is so funny that I can't stop laughing!
(Hope you're doing okay, btw. *hugs*).
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I'm...still distinctly uncomfortable, but not quite as scary as I was earlier. Thanks for asking. *hugs*
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2) If there were, I would be making my own way down it, kthx
3) Even if that needed a wheelchair
4) And even if I wanted a person, you didn't make the top 100 shortlist
5) There is no aisle
(tempted to add (6) There is no wedding, at least until after the event...)
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I *have* thought that a ceremony involving a woman supported by her mother and a man supported by his father could be particularly moving. And with same-gender parents, it would seem much less that the offspring is "owned by" the parent.
However, we're not doing it. We want to be together at the start, to symbolize that this is the formalizing of an existing relationship, NOT the beginning of a new one.
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(When
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This was our thought/ plan as well. Much happier connotations :-)
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Obviously, doing it that way completely changes the context and dynamic. Worked for us, which doesn't mean that it would work for any other set of people. :)
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by Justin Bieberto Justin Bieber.
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