Bilge comprised almost entirely of dasto.

Here follows an End User License Agreement from a piece of software that I was installing this evening (the computer connectivity of my Olympus digital voice recorder). I believe it was translated from Japanese to English using a machine and then not checked by a native English speaker, as it makes virtually no sense. I have bolded my favourite parts.

*** The use consent contract of the Olympus software product ***
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I Am A Dork

Happy birthday stellarwind! Don't try to tell me it was in December, I've only just got your present ready. Me singing the Portal song. About 3 MB. Not entirely in tune.

More voice recorder silliness: A previous recording gets interrupted by my phone ringing, causing me to completely lose the tune. Save the file and skip ahead to about 1 min 15 sec (1.4 MB). And I bemoan Noun Disease, with the extra irony of an unintentional word displacement near the end (354 kB).

This will be especially fun for anyone who's never heard my voice. Maybe.