baratron: (angry)
Our plumbing is being evil, for the fifth or sixth time since we moved into this house in 2004. When our house was built, it didn't have an internal bathroom. There are remains of an outhouse in our back garden. So the bathroom was, at some point, retrofitted and its plumbing has never worked quite right.

It's been showing signs of distress for a few days now, doing that thing it does of not draining properly. We flush the toilet or run water in the sink, and the bath goes GLUG GLUG GLUG. Not good. However, yesterday when I flushed the toilet, some of the er, effluent ended up in the bath. Which is about as delightful as it sounds.

Richard did a full day at work then stayed up quite literally all night clearing the downpipe with a high pressure hose, and only went to bed at 7.30 am. He is my hero! The poor bugger couldn't eat anything until 6.30 am because he was too nauseated, and I have left Emergency Laundry running overnight else he wouldn't have any trousers to wear to work (and it's too cold to go in shorts).

The problem is not completely fixed since although the downpipe is now cleared, water running through it is not reaching the sewer. As the problem occurs on our property, Thames Water won't help, so we will have to find a professional and (probably) claim on our insurance. Does anyone have the faintest idea how to do this? I mean, regarding claiming on the insurance, we probably just have to find the policy document and ring the insurers with the policy number and details of the work which needs to be done. But where on earth do we find a good professional plumber who handles drains and sewers? Do we ask the insurance company to recommend someone?

To add further complication, our back garden will probably have to be dug up, and it is currently a jungle. I'm hoping my parents might be available in the next few days to get it cleared, although that involves Dealing With My Parents.
baratron: (Luka)
I have tooth pain. I was asleep on Sunday afternoon because my sleep patterns are completely messed up. Woke up on Sunday night having dreamt about tooth pain, and woke up to find it was real :( Specifically one of my wisdom teeth (bottom left) has decided to start breaking through the gum line and my gum is all puffy and swollen.

Read more... )
baratron: (endurance)
Last night I spent about 3 hours filling in my Disabled Students' Allowance forms and wanted to die. There is nothing quite like detailing EVERY WAY in which you are medically broken to make you feel like a non-person.

I had to fill in three years' worth of forms in one go, because I need some funding for 2015/16 to cover 4 x sessions I had with my disability support mentor before deciding to go on a break in studies, as well as the current year (2016/17) and next year (2017/18), which made the whole experience extra tedious. Although virtually all the questions were the same, so I could copy and paste stuff.

The worst thing was that my name - "Helen-Louise" was too long to fit in the boxes of the older forms because apparently a first name should only have 10 characters in it?! I mean, what?

In other news I am slowly continuing to move people over from their old livejournal usernames to their new Dreamwidth usernames for access and subscription purposes. If you think you should be on my access list and are not currently (can you see this post?) feel free to leave me a comment here.

Blargh.

Nov. 9th, 2016 02:49 pm
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
So I haven't written anything here since July, which is impressively lax even for me. In short, I have been suffering from the worst chronic fatigue since I lived in the flat and eventually got diagnosed with hyperventilation occulta. I am playing Elder Scrolls Online and chatting to people via Skype and my ESO Guild's Teamspeak channel, but barely socialising at all otherwise, even online. It's just too much effort given my state of exhaustion. I've left the house about 10 times in 4 months.

I have also had an ongoing cold/cough/snot disease thing since June when I caught lurgy at the Download Festival. I get ill approximately every two weeks and stay ill for a week. I have had ongoing digestive TMI since a couple of months before June. And I've been throwing up at least once a day for the past, er, few months.

My GP and I were hoping that it was a Helicobacter pylori infection because that is relatively easy to treat, even if the treatment is unpleasant. But that test came back negative. Nor was there anything particularly exciting in my blood test results. So now I'm waiting for a gastroscopy.

Thing is, I am not at all certain whether there is anything wrong with my digestive system. I am permanently snotty, despite antihistamines, nose spray and eye drops, and the vomiting seems to be related to excessive overproduction of snot. I understand why they're starting by investigating the digestive system, because of all the TMI. But I dunno. My suspicion is that, rather than there being something actively wrong, I'm allergic and reacting to something which forms a major part of my daily diet.

I don't know whether I'm more afraid of the gut biopsy coming back positive for coeliac disease, meaning I'll have to radically change my diet; or negative, meaning I don't have to change my diet (yet) but we still don't know what is wrong. I'm inclined towards wanting to know, because I have been having increasingly bad symptoms since March or April, and it's now November, and I am getting worse rather than better. I was supposed to be back at university by now, not living in limbo.

In exciting news, I got a call from the hospital a few hours ago. Apparently they've had a cancellation and wanted to know if I could come in tomorrow. I was extremely enthusiastic, even after they told me the appointment is at 8.25 am. Unfortunately I can't eat for 6 hours before the appointment, which isn't too bad - but nor can I drink for 4 hours beforehand. This would be fine if I wasn't nocturnal, but being thirsty makes me anxious. I am not looking forward to having my anxiety provoked. Nor am I likely to be able to sleep given the time of day of the appointment - I will be too anxious about not waking up on time.

Good thoughts, and comments about how trivially easy and unstressful your gastroscopy experiences were, would be welcomed at this time.
baratron: (sleepy)
So tired. It's been a long week.
  • Wednesday - Stayed up way too late to run a new dungeon on the public test server of Elder Scrolls Online on Wednesday.

  • Thursday - Meeting with ZOS devs to talk about the new dungeons. So much talking. I still haven't written up my notes from the meeting for my Guild, and I hope I can mostly remember what was said.

  • Friday - Went to see Ginger Wildheart and Hey! Hello at a funny little venue called the Brooklyn Bowl. It's a bowling alley (?) inside the big o2 tent (formerly the Millennium Dome) which also has bands. Kinda weird but it was very accessible, since the entire o2 was built post-Disability Discrimination Act. They were playing along with another band called Ryan Hamilton & The Traitors who were so good we wanted to get their CD, but it was sold-out!

  • Saturday - Work for my mother, and a huge row because she was being unreasonable (at least in part due to a headache).

  • Sunday - The joys of a new washing machine! We bought our washer-dryer, fridge-freezer and dishwasher when we moved into this house in June 2004, and they've lasted well. The fridge and dishwasher have never needed any work, but the washing machine needed to be repaired five times, with issues ranging from worn motor brushes to a broken wire in the motor controller to a sheared bolt holding the drum in place. A couple of months ago, it stopped drying clothes, and Richard determined it needed a new condensing unit. This wasn't a huge problem considering it's summer and we can dry clothes overnight on the rack. However, then the drum stopped spinning altogether. Richard checked the brushes and the motor controller, and determined it would need a whole new motor.

    Thing is, although he could fix it, there reaches a point in an appliance's lifetime where it seems like throwing good money after bad. Putting a new condenser and a new motor into a 12 year old washer-dryer that seems to be gaining a new issue every couple of weeks? Yeeaah. Also, the sheets for our new bed are enormous, and heavier than our machine was supposed to be capable of taking.

    We've been very happy with Bosch, most of all the fact that you can order parts to work on the appliances yourself without needing to be a registered dealer (very useful when you have your own in-house engineer), so we just went out and bought another of the same without any shopping around.

    However, I am currently struggling with the fact that this new washer-dryer is trying to be more intelligent than I am. The old one had three knobs on the front: water temperature, drying time, and programme. This new one has one big knob and a load of buttons. It has fewer temperatures available for washing, and far less control over drying time (with the options being 15 minutes blow around, 60 minutes with heat, 120 minutes with heat, or "auto"). I'm kinda annoyed that we won't be able to wash our socks on 50 degrees C any more, and that we won't be able to dry the clothes for 25 minutes before putting them on the rack. At least, not without some effort.

    Then on Sunday night, I had a huge argument with Shifty, which continued into Monday and only got sorted out on Monday night. We're okay now, but it was really difficult - there was a lot of him not understanding nuances of emotional stuff because of his autism, and me not being able to find a way to explain it better because it's "just obvious" to a neurotypical person. (Maybe even to autistic people with a bit more experience in relationships.)

  • Tuesday - Woke up too early with a sore throat. Hoping it's just from crying too much. More work for my mother. Photoshop. Argh.

  • Today - woke up too early again, still have a sore throat, sincerely hoping it is allergies and not an infection. Wrote a rant about Funding for special education. Now have to email Shifty's crush to tell her some things which he doesn't seem capable of conveying, as well as confirming that yes, we really are poly. Argh.

So yeah, it's just been exhausting all round and I am ready for a break. Which I don't think I'm going to get anytime soon.
baratron: (boris)
I am very stressed, anxious, angry, and upset right now. I literally cannot believe what has happened. I honestly don't know anyone who voted to Leave.

My friends - well yes, they tend to be left-wing, liberal, anti-racist Europeans. Of course they all voted Remain. But even my family voted Remain! My dad's family suddenly remembered that they are immigrants, and that they are in favour of a free market. My 89-year old grandmother who is horribly racist despite having black grandchildren and great-grandchildren - even she voted Remain! Apparently because she doesn't like Boris Johnson and doesn't want him in charge of anything, but that's still a better reason than a lot of people who voted Leave.

According to the front page of the BBC News site, 17,410,742 people, being 51.9% of those who voted, chose to Leave. Meanwhile 16,141,241 people, being 48.1% of those who voted, chose to Remain. That isn't a clear mandate for anything! Even if the figures were reversed, even if Remain had narrowly squeaked through... I would still be saying that the country is divided, that it isn't a clear mandate either way.

What bothers me is this. My mum manages a block of flats for retired people. In order to make changes to services offered, she needs to follow a Code of Practice which states that to make changes to the status quo, all of the following criteria must be met:
1. 66% of the votes received must support the proposal,
2. 51% of the total number of leaseholders must support the proposal, and
3. not more than 25% of the total number of leaseholders are against the proposal.

Leaving the European Union is many, many orders of magnitude more important for the country than any change to services provided by a block of retirement flats, and yet a 3.8% majority is apparently enough to make the change!

I just can't take this in.
baratron: (endurance)
Yesterday and today, I've been wanting to talk to people but I have absolutely no spare energy with which to do so. I have reverted to taking 2000 iu of vitamin D per day as of today, because I'm shattered and not convinced that the 400 iu tablets are doing enough.

I'm supposed to be going back to College in 10 days or so, but I haven't sorted out any of the paperwork yet because it involves too much effort, and circular situations where I need a form from A to give to B and a form from B to give to C, but I can't get the form from A until I have the form from C. Gah! And right now, I am sufficiently exhausted that I am not even sure if I'm up to going back for this term. I really can't go back and then immediately have to take time off again, but I do need to get things like Disabled Students' Allowance in place again if I am going back.

Mental health has not been good in my little family this past week. We have all been depressed for no particular reason. Richard has been anxious, Grant has been tearful, I have been having nightmares. I know that I need to have my next trip to see Grant arranged as soon as possible, so it's settled and I have something to look forward to, but I just don't know when will be convenient. Since this year is a round-number birthday, I was hoping to do something special for it, but I am increasingly feeling that my original plan (go to Iceland again) isn't what I want to be doing this year.

While organising trips to various places, I have to decide if I am going to BiCon this year. I feel that it would be beneficial to me to be in bi space considering that I currently appear to the outside world as straight twice over, but it involves energy and organisation which I don't quite have right now. The deadline is apparently pretty soon though. Who else is going?

In other news, I have found some mysterious photos on my computer. I mean, they are patently photos of me and Richard hanging around in our hallway in January 2012, but it is mysterious as to why we took them. They are all exceedingly yellow and would require considerable correction in Photoshop to fix. I thought maybe Richard had bought a new camera and we were testing it out, but the numbering starts at IMG_6562.jpg. Weird!
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
I'm pretty certain I have flu. This is despite having had a flu jab in October. I've been ill since Friday night with a temperature that stays over 38.0 deg C (about 100 deg F) despite taking paracetamol/acetaminophen to bring it down. I am coughing, sneezing, and aching all over, and over the weekend I also had nausea, vomiting, and diarrhoea. The digestive issues have mostly settled down now, but everything else is still present.

Woke up this morning with a temperature of 39.7 deg C (103.5 deg F) and considered calling the doctor or pharmacist because I was so very out of it that I felt scared. But half an hour after taking paracetamol, my temperature was a 'mere' 39.2, so clearly paracetamol was still managing to be antipyretic. I woke up later feeling absolutely freezing and was convinced that my fever had broken, but it was still 38.3 deg C. Eww.

The problem with paracetamol is that it's hepatotoxic enough that you can only take 4 doses a day; which considering it wears off after 5 to 5.5 hours, doesn't cover the entire 24 hour day too well. If I could take NSAIDs then I'd alternate paracetamol with ibuprofen, but NSAIDs make me stop breathing, which would likely be worse than having a fever :P

Have texted my parents and Tim & Peter to cancel Christmas. Apparently flu is contagious for 7 days after symptoms start, or longer if you have a bad immune system, so I will still be contagious on Friday. And frankly, I don't wish this on anyone. I'm nowhere near as ill as I would have been if I hadn't had the vaccination, but I still feel worse than I typically do for a cold - ill enough that I wish I could just sleep until it's gone.

At this point, I am actually glad that Grant is having to work all over Christmas and New Year, since it would be horrible to have him visiting while I'm this bloody sick. I just hope that Richard doesn't catch it. He's coughing his lungs out, but then he's been coughing since the last cold he had about a month ago.
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
I feel like I've fallen into some sort of nightmare. Went to have the ECG today. It was normal apart from my pulse rate being so damned fast... but the doctor is referring me to a cardiologist anyway because I have pain in my chest whenever I get stressed or exert myself a little bit (or take my asthma reliever inhaler). She thinks I might need to have a 24 hour monitor and/or a stress test to make sure there isn't anything more serious than tachycardia.

There was nothing in the blood tests to suggest a cause. My iron (blood serum ferritin) level was 44 ng/mL on a scale where 14-150 ng/mL is considered normal for females. I am not an expert, but apparently this means I'm not anaemic. I do remember friends with anaemia having ferritin levels in the 17-19 ng/mL range.

Also my TSH level was 1.93 uIU/mL - which is increased from May but still within the "normal" range. I am definitely not hyperthyroid because of too much thyroxine, since that would give me a TSH level of 0.3 or less!

I forgot whether they checked my vitamin D level, but I've stopped taking the supplements for now just in case they were causing palpitations... it's been more than a week without them, and my heart seems to be getting worse. Eeep.

Being neither anaemic nor hyperthyroid, there is no convenient explanation for the tachycardia. I am resolutely not Googling causes of tachycardia because I'm worried enough already. There's something about chest pain and knowing it's your heart which is just terrifying.

I just don't understand how a part of my body which has never caused me any trouble before could suddenly start scaring me like this. Especially since it's not as if the rest of me is healthy...

Methane!

Jul. 16th, 2015 12:12 pm
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
Today I am not at my best. Been fighting off bad asthma for a couple of days, along with a raging sore throat, and a few hours ago developed a pretty bad fever. I haven't been to sleep yet. (Mostly because I was too hot to sleep).

And then just as I was trying to get to bed, I had a loud man knock on my door and declare himself to be an Emergency Gas Engineer visiting the house because the postman and a passerby had called to report a gas leak.

It transpires that the most likely source of this leak is the pipe which brings gas into our house. That explains why people randomly think they can smell gas when they visit us, but why we've never been able to smell it inside the house. However, accessing said pipe may be problematic due to the fact that when renovating some 30 years ago, the previous owner replaced the rotten downstairs wooden floor with poured concrete. Which isn't even properly flat.

I am drenched in sweat because of being ill and I don't believe that I am likely to get any sleep anytime soon, but nor is my house likely to be exploding anytime soon since appropriate professionals are working on it. So I suppose I should count that as a plus. It's just that if I have to deal with emergencies, I'd much rather do so on days when I have ability to cope - rather than on a day when I've started with negative spoons :/
baratron: (cn tower)
Today has been an exercise in frustration. Booking accommodation while disabled is... difficult. I have to make sure that I can get in and out of the bathroom by myself without immediately forcing my new boyfriend into "carer" mode when he's never even met me in person.

We were looking at apartments on AirB&B and TripAdvisor… the problem is that all a person needs to do to make their flat “wheelchair accessible” is to tick a little box. So there were a whole load of apartments that I could apparently get around fine until it got to the bathroom. Whereupon there were suddenly no grab rails, a bathtub with no seat or dropped sides, and a fixed shower head rather than a detachable one.

The Download Festival is more accessible than most of these condos, and that's an outdoor music festival where you sleep in a tent! But at least it has grab rails in the toilets and enough space to transfer from a wheelchair if you can't walk at all, and roll-in showers with a seat and grab rails.

Also, the most frustrating thing on any website is the phrase “This hotel has accessible rooms that may include the following accessible features”. Just fuck off! I don't care about what you "may" provide, I want to know what you definitely "will" provide!

Grargh.

In other news, I have discovered that Electric Wheelchair Hockey is a thing. That's positively amazing - I hadn't known there were any sports accessible to users of electric wheelchairs before. Wow :)
baratron: (corrosive)
Does anyone have a concentration span I could borrow?

Turns out that my physiotherapy course and poster presentation don't actually clash, because they've put the poster presentation on the Friday afternoon rather than the Thursday for once. Which is good... but I still need to make the poster come into existence. And my concentration span has been mostly non-existent for most of the last couple of weeks.

Things I can concentrate on: Cuddling, chatting to loved ones, playing with plushies, video games (at least for short bursts).

Things I can't concentrate on: Serious Discussions (™), work of any type, writing, organising my Elder Scrolls Online Guild.

I don't really know how to pull a concentration span out of thin air when it's decided to go missing. I found some interesting websites about it... but they all had clickbait at the bottom of the page :O
baratron: (endurance)
So... I have received a hospital appointment letter for a course of physiotherapy, the first session of which clashes with the Graduate Symposium where I am supposed to be presenting a poster.

It is 4 consecutive weeks and you have to go to all 4. It runs from Thursday 18th June until Thursday 9th July, meaning that if I call back and say "I can't go", the next session is unlikely to be until Thursday 16th July. And that's if the physiotherapist isn't on holiday.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was in the morning, but it's 3.15-4.15pm. Ordinarily, this would be great - I'm always complaining about appointments from the Pain Clinic in the morning considering how brain-dead most people with chronic pain are at stupid o'clock. However, while I don't have the timetable for the Graduate Symposium yet, every year I've been aware of, the poster session has been on Thursday afternoon.

The timetable has not yet been printed or distributed. I pretty much have to be at the poster presentation (rather than just sticking my poster up and running away) since answering questions about one's poster is part of the assessment process. Even though I am never going to win any prizes because I'm a chemist in a biology department, and the likelihood is that I won't even be able to answer half the questions I get asked!

I have, for now, emailed my supervisor.

I assume the next step is emailing the conference organiser to check when the poster session will actually be, and calling the hospital to find out if they have any other times sooner than 16th July.

What other bright ideas can you think of? Sympathy also welcomed.
baratron: (endurance)
So I was planning to go and see Jettblack* on Saturday. Except I hadn't quite got around to buying tickets, because that would have involved having spoons. I tried to buy tickets today and found that the gig's been moved from the totally accessible Islington Academy to the entirely inaccessible Camden Underworld. Godsfreakingdamnit.

So now, at extremely short notice, I have to find out whether any of the other venues are accessible, and book trains and possibly accommodation. The best bet is Wolverhampton Slade Rooms, which I've been to before, but none of the usual ticket sites are listing tickets for the gig (sold out?). The second best bet is Southampton Joiners, but I can't find out if it's accessible online. (The site which says it is also gives contact information for a completely different venue. Argh).


* the hair metal band, not the porn star.
baratron: (endurance)
Well, the good news is that I don't have any broken bones or nerve damage. The bad news is that I am going to be very, very sore for a while.

I am not sure that I can tell you in a public post what actually happened, since it involves improper handling of wheelchair ramps and my getting injured as a result, and I am going to have to Make Formal Complaints and such like. Also I don't feel like writing about it now since I'm feeling pretty dizzy and sick after almost six hours in A & E without food. Apparently most of Kingston was ill tonight.

But I'm okay.
baratron: (corrosive)
I do not recommend arthritis of the spine. I don't really recommend arthritis in general, but there's something about having it in your spine that's just extra evil.

I had some injections done in January which basically fixed the problem entirely for a few months. Over the past few weeks, I have become increasingly aware of it returning in force. Yesterday things were so bad that I had to miss a lecture that I wanted to go to, because I hurt too much to be able to sit through the class without having to wriggle and fidget and stand up and change position so frequently that it would disrupt everyone else. Normal painkillers do nothing for this type of pain.

Now I don't know what to do. I have been to my Pain Management F/Up appointment, which lasted all of 10 minutes because the specialist and I were in complete agreement that I needed another set of injections. But the Pain Management Clinic admin are completely useless and gods only know when that'll actually get scheduled. I could go back on gabapentin, but I'm afraid to lose my mood control. I've actually been feeling pretty cheery over the past month or so, still a person with depression and anxiety but with those issues mostly under control, and I'm extremely reluctant to give that up.

Then again, if I'm in this much pain and discomfort, I'm not going to be able to get my work finished off because I can't actually sit still for long enough. And my department have made it very clear that I'm not getting any more extensions.

This is the kind of juggling that you have to do if you have multiple chronic illnesses which interact. No one wants to be in constant pain, but no one wants to turn into a crazy person either. Better pain control vs worse mood control is not really a good equation.

I shall, of course, be consulting a medical professional at the earliest possible opportunity. I'm not really looking for advice, because none of you have my biochemistry, or are taking my particular mix of medication. But I certainly need *hugs* and comforting pats over the internet.
baratron: (cn tower)
So, it turns out that Richard and I have really different ideas about what we want out of a holiday. He wants a complete break from Work, which includes everything: work for money, housework and Being A Carer. Whereas I want to go somewhere exciting and different.

He wants to go somewhere he is familiar with, so he has an internal map of the place in his head. He also doesn't want to be in the situation where "the extrovert has gone all shy, leaving me to do the communication."

This means that we need to go somewhere where the primary language is English, so I'm not reliant on him to manage a language I've mostly forgotten or never learned, and that we've been to before. The existing stipulations of somewhere with a lot of vegan food that is easy to navigate by public transport using a wheelchair and that has bears somewhere that he can go off and commune with still apply.

This greatly reduces the number of cities quite hilariously:

New York? We both know our way round Manhattan, but unless something's changed in the past few years, it's a nightmare to navigate in a wheelchair - they have a ridiculously small number of pre-book only accessible taxis.

Boston? Lots of vegan food, and I've been there in a wheelchair before. A couple of times, even. Not sure about bears, though.

Toronto? Lots of vegan food, and it seemed that a lot of public transport was accessible in 2007 even before I needed that much accessibility. Also Canadians are very polite and helpful so I wouldn't feel awkward asking for help if I needed it. And Toronto Zoo has THREE (3) types of bear. Flying there is damned expensive though.

Somewhere in the Netherlands or Flemish Belgium? Okay, the primary language there might be Dutch, but pretty much everyone speaks enough English to deal with tourists. I'm looking at Antwerp right now because it's easy to get to (Eurostar plus half an hour, and the second train is included in the price of a Eurostar), and it has a good zoo and art museums, although the zoo does only have one type of bear.

Hmm.

Stress!

Aug. 1st, 2014 08:25 am
baratron: (london)
Guess who managed to sleep through two alarms and now has to rush across London?

Sigh. And I'm still tired enough to feel nauseated.

Blargh.

Jul. 21st, 2014 08:37 am
baratron: (flasks)
I really Do Not Like how I'm feeling at the moment. It's 8.24 am and I haven't managed to sleep yet, even though I quit my game before 5 am and lay down in the almost-dark for almost an hour before giving up and reading on my phone again. I feel so desperate and frustrated, and my moods are all over the place.

The conclusion I have come to is that I've never regained the same level of mood control that I had before going on pregabalin and then gabapentin, which are both anticonvulsants which affect mood, used for relief of pain caused by neurological issues. I thought that stopping the gabapentin would be enough to make my carbamazepine go back to smoothing things out, but it's been 6 months and I still don't feel as though I'm getting adequate mood control. (Also, my back needs another set of injections, which is another story in itself.)

Right now I feel in a "glorious" mixed state of depression and hypomania, with all sorts of negative self-hatred/self-harming desires going through my mind, as well as anger and tearfulness, and too many thoughts. In some respects I feel as though I have loads of energy, except I don't really. Loads of thoughts and ideas, but no actual energy or concentration span to start writing any of them down. I keep playing Elder Scrolls Online because it's the only damned thing I can concentrate on, and it's absorbing enough that I don't have to worry about anything else while I play it. I have a horrible feeling I'm using it to self-medicate because of how shitty I feel when I'm playing and there's no one else I care about on to talk to.

I need to go and see my doctor. It's difficult to explain how bad I'm feeling when I can fake normal so well. I keep thinking "I hate my life", except I don't, really. My life is pretty awesome in so many ways. What I hate is my brain, for not managing its own neurotransmitters properly.

Don't want advice, don't want sympathy, only empathy from people who have some idea what this feels like. Stupid brains!
baratron: (corrosive)
Joy! Our kitchen ring main has died. I was heating up hot chocolate and heard a fizzling sound, and the microwave stopped working. So did everything else that runs off that ring main.

Like a Sensible Person Who Understands Electricity, I went to the fuse box. Where I found that the kitchen ring main fuse had not tripped. I flicked it to off anyway, waited a few seconds and back to on, but there is still no electricity to the kitchen. Richard reckons it might need a new circuit breaker.

Even better: the fridge/freezer is plugged in somewhere behind itself, and it's too damned heavy for me to move. So I can't actually unplug it and move it onto the downstairs ring main until Richard gets home from work.

Also, I am having TMI )

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