baratron: (aibo)
Today I experienced the joy which is seeing a doctor who doesn't know me. Apparently my usual GP is on holiday somewhere warm, lucky woman.

So I was explaining to the doctor that I have had chronic fatigue and pain on and off since I was 13 and I'm now 40, and that I was concerned about the pain in my left knee. The last time I was in this kind of pain was March 2003 when I got diagnosed with hyperventilation occulta. It's a chronic fatigue syndrome type of pain rather than an injury sort of pain.

I explained that I was concerned because I am unable to do very much exercise because of my exercise-induced exhaustion, and now because of this pain I can't even do the small amount of exercise that I usually do. It hurts when I sit, it hurts when I lie down, it hurts when I stand, it hurts when I walk, it hurts when I stretch. Nothing that I know of changes the pain. Since some of my other joints are starting to get achey too, I am concerned.

Trigger warning: unwanted diet advice. )
baratron: (corrosive)
Does anyone have a concentration span I could borrow?

Turns out that my physiotherapy course and poster presentation don't actually clash, because they've put the poster presentation on the Friday afternoon rather than the Thursday for once. Which is good... but I still need to make the poster come into existence. And my concentration span has been mostly non-existent for most of the last couple of weeks.

Things I can concentrate on: Cuddling, chatting to loved ones, playing with plushies, video games (at least for short bursts).

Things I can't concentrate on: Serious Discussions (™), work of any type, writing, organising my Elder Scrolls Online Guild.

I don't really know how to pull a concentration span out of thin air when it's decided to go missing. I found some interesting websites about it... but they all had clickbait at the bottom of the page :O


Mar. 5th, 2014 10:36 am
baratron: (aibo)
I wish my husband would stop setting his alarm for 9.30am when he has been up working until 4am & has no intention of leaving for work until 11.30 at the earliest. All it does is wake me up, & enough that I can't readily fall back to sleep. If you wake my belly up, then you wake the rest of me as well. My belly is busy shouting "HUNGRY!" at me & I am trying to placate it with ginger nuts & chocolate milk, but I feel awful from lack of sleep.

Oh yes. And then he has the nerve to snore at me! ARRGH!
baratron: (pokemon fan club)
My web browser is lagged to hell and back, so it's once again time to clear out the links that are cluttering up my tabs.

Warning: Do not click while eating. THIS is literally just round the corner from where I live. It explains A LOT about why there are suddenly humungous traffic jams in Kingston. It's because there's a "bus-sized" "fatberg" blocking the drains, and Thames Water is doing emergency engineering work to try to get it out. EWWWW.

xoJane: My Starbucks name is Rebecca. As someone who has a deep-seated phobia of telling strangers her name, I really empathise with this article. And the comments. Oh my.

Worst Album Covers of All Time. Okay, one of these is clearly female body-hair shaming, and one of the others is non-conventionally attractive woman shaming, but most of the rest? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

Having said that, there's nothing wrong with that Orleans album cover apart from the fact that one of the men does not have a beard, and one of the others has a hairless chest.

BBC Nature News: Wolf howl identification technology excites experts. ARROOOO!

Pervocracy: I just figured out why I get patted down every time I fly! Anger-making, but also funny: like all the best rants.

More about how I am some other time.
baratron: (corrosive)
I was going to eat this frozen macaroni "cheese" thing for lunch. It's one of the only vegan ready meals that exists which is also close enough to food for me to be able to consider it. But I opened the packet and it had a 1.5 cm thick layer of ice crystals on top. This wasn't promising. Hacked that off, and found the pasta and sauce underneath was all freezer-burned. Tried to cook it anyway but it's completely dried out and inedible.

Obviously, my mum can take it back to the shop and complain, but SOMEONE has fucked up the storage of the frozen food somewhere along the line. I'm suspecting it's the shop where she bought it because I've had dubiously slushy, obviously melted and refrozen ice cream from there before. Bloody "health" food shops that can't manage to keep their freezers at the right temperature :/

So now I'm eating a bag of crisps and an apple and pretending this is lunch. My back and left leg hurt too much for any kind of cooking which involves more than sitting on a BEKVÄM stool while stuff heats in the microwave. Can't even manage pasta or rice today since I can't bend down to get a clean pan out of the cupboard or reach up to get a bag of carbohydrate product out of the other cupboard... Life would be so much easier if I didn't have all these food intolerances - but the Chronic Fatigue Clinic specialist (an immunologist) reckons they're due to the chronic fatigue anyway. Urgh.

Have to go to UCL for a conference tomorrow & Wednesday. Not looking forward to an early morning. Well, I'll get there as soon as my leg lets me.
baratron: (boots)
I've been randomly unpleasantly ill for a couple of days. Woke up on both Tuesday and Wednesday with pins-and-needles in both arms and my hands curled up into claws. Then it took several hours for my hands to be usable, and they were still numb/pins-and-needle-y for the rest of the day. Ugh. This is a thing that happens to me occasionally, I still don't know what the trigger is (if it was RSI from too much Oblivion, wouldn't it have started while I was still playing the game rather than the next morning?), but it's annoying.

Today I woke up with more energy than I've had in weeks, and:
* emailed College about a break in studies for illness reasons.
* booked tickets to see Jettblack on Saturday 27th April.
* phoned the venue in Glasgow about the Wildhearts on Thursday 4th April to check that the disabled access was sorted. (Apparently it is, they just didn't tell me about it).
* scanned in a lease for my mother, which was a task and a half because the scanner did things like forgetting to crop the images to A4 size (my fault for not choosing the right settings), and forgetting how to save as a PDF (definitely a software failure, since it saved fine as .png).
* talked to my mobile phone company about getting a cheaper contract (apparently possible at the end of this month when I'm eligible for an upgrade).
* put some laundry on.

I still have to write a letter for my doctor to get the supporting evidence for the break in studies, FINALLY sort out the paperwork for the Freedom Pass, wash my hair, and do some writing. I'm not sure that the writing will happen. I'm only half-sure that the hair-washing will happen, but it's reached the point of being absolutely foul and pestilent, and ready to walk off my head. I haven't done the Wednesday book meme, but then I haven't actually read any books this week, only newspapers and fanfic.

Also, tomorrow I need to phone East Coast about the fact they seem to have booked assisted travel three times for the outward journey to Glasgow and not at all for the return. I really would like to add up how much of my precious time and energy is spent on disability things - not activism, just basic access. I fear it's rather a lot.
baratron: (Warning: Sick!)
Oh gods. I've been knocked out with horrendous sleep patterns from hell and non-restorative sleep for over a week now. Couldn't tell if it was chronic fatigue or depression or both, or something else. I've also had a profoundly unhappy belly since Friday night. (Bad enough on Saturday morning that I almost phoned our Saturday evening visitors to tell them not to bother coming, due to the high possibility of TMI - but then it cleared up a bit). Being me, I couldn't be sure if any of this was an illness or if it was some sort of new, "exciting", additional symptom of my existing chronic stuff. (I have been, quite honestly, going through everything I've eaten and checking to make sure nothing's changed in the formulation, and worrying that I might have developed a New Food Intolerance).

However, in the last half-hour I've acquired a fever, sore throat, and swollen glands - which is oddly cheering, since if I have to be ill, I much prefer being ill with an infection that will go away given time, than with vague nebulous symptoms of doom. Unfortunately, it's also desperately bad timing, with BiCon starting on Friday and my train ticket fixed for Thursday lunchtime. Given the type of fare I bought, I dread to think how much it'll cost to change it to go up later.

I'm hoping that whatever this is started early enough that I'll just have a few days of vileness now, and then it'll clear up, and I'll be free from infection come BiCon. But judging by how I feel right now, there's really no guarantee that I'll make it at all.

I'll, er, keep you informed.
baratron: (boots)
Back at home, doing last-minute wedding preparations. Things that have annoyed me today:

1) The booklet on how to get married provided by Hammersmith & Fulham Council specifically says "If you would like a particular piece of music that may be 'special' to the two of you, please bring it along to the register office before the day of your marriage." The booklet on weddings, which I don't have right in front of me to quote, even says that music must be approved in advance by the Senior Registrar! So why, when I turned up with a CD today, was I told that I could have just brought it tomorrow?

2) Whole Foods in Kensington were being sucky. Last Tuesday or Wednesday, I went there to enquire about how to order cakes. I wanted to place an order for 2 x 7" vegan chocolate fudge cakes. I was told by the Bakery assistant that not only was there not a form to fill in, but they always make several of those cakes fresh every day so there is no need to order them. Well, today I went, and there was all of ONE 7" vegan chocolate fudge cake. As a result, there is Not Enough cake. Grrr.

3) Richard forgot to buy (or tell me to buy) a pocket watch. So now he's complaining that he can't fit his wristwatch under the strange sleeves of his wedding outfit, and it's too late to do anything about it. I tried looking for pocket watches online, and the cheapest ones available in shops which exist in Kingston were £150 (and quite ugly). I only know two people who might have one to borrow, and one of them lives too far away to be any help.

For people who want to know why anyone needs a watch at a wedding, Richard always needs a watch. It's a Richard-thing. He feels undressed without one and indeed, often walks around the house wearing only underpants, a watch and his ring.

4) Our menu, which looked so good on A4 paper, looks awful on A5 paper. A5 is half the size of A4 - I've gone from formatting it as a flat, double-sided sheet to a four-sided booklet. But it just looks ugly. I have to figure that out before I can go to bed.

5) I have period pain. Gah.\

12 hours to go...
baratron: (me)
Today I went shopping for a birthday card for my Mum, and found the best Congratulations to the New Parents From A Childfree Person card ever. It manages to combine the messages of "Congratulations on successfully achieving a baby" with "(Though I'm not sure why you wanted one. Good luck anyway!)" without offending either group of people's sensibilities. This is quite impressive.

I suffer from extreme greeting card dilemma in general, because I can only send cards with words that I actually mean, and I don't have enough time in my life to make my own. Normally the problem is limited to trying to find appropriate cards for my partners that don't say "To the One I Love", which seems like a ridiculous sentiment even for most people with only one romantic partner. Most human beings love more than one other person, like their best friends or parent/s or children or pets. I'd be lonely if I only loved one other person in the whole world!

But the difficulty gets doubled or tripled when it comes to New Baby, because I can't manage to send cards about 10 ickle cutesy toesies without wanting to vomit. While the standard "Wow! It's a Boy!" blue card or "Awesome, You Achieved A Girl!" pink cards bother my queer feminist brain with thoughts like "Why the hell does the biological sex of a newborn matter anyway?" and "Who knows which of the many genders the child will grow up to be?". So finding a card that is non-nauseating and will amuse both Richard and me and the new parents is a very cool thing. So cool, that I did in fact buy three of them. Then realised I actually know four pregnant women. Oops.

I have also been both experiencing and suffering from Newton's Third Law today. I spent several hours helping my mum load heavy boxes onto a trolley that had no brakes, and she kept moaning about it running away as we put the loads on. I tried to explain why it happened, but to no avail. Then, coming home, I tried to take the step stool down from the trike, and one of my bungie cords flew up and hit me in the nose. I know those things are a) vicious and b) can store a lot of elastic potential energy, but honestly! It hurt like mad and I now have a visible and scary-looking bruise. And it had to be one of the long 1m cables that has never tried to attack me before rather than the shorter 60cm one that bites me all the time (to the point where I expect it and am prepared for it). Bah.


baratron: (Default)

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