my life as a defence analyst.

[baratron]

Of course, what didn't help yesterday afternoon was the bloody BBC ringing me up. I get these calls on a regular basis. The BBC ring our number and ask to speak to Colonel Bob Stewart. Now, unless Richard has a secret life I don't know about, no one of that name lives here. Furthermore, no one of that name has ever lived here - we've owned this flat since it was built, and had this phone number all of that time.

So every time something of a military nature occurs in the news, a BBC researcher gets on the phone to their usual rent-a-quote sources, and rings me. And every time I get one of these calls, I explain to them that there is no Colonel Bob Stewart here and there never has been, suggest that perhaps someone transposed a couple of digits when they entered the number into the computer, and ask them to remove our number from their database. Whoever I speak to is always terribly apologetic and promises to do so, but then they only go and bloody ring us up again a couple of weeks later. Almost always when I'm asleep. It's annoying, because although a lot of people have our home number, no one would ever dream of trying to reach us on it - they'd ring our mobiles instead. They'd only ring the home phone if our mobiles were switched off. So whenever the home phone rings, I always assume it must be a terribly important call and answer it.

This morning, as Richard got into work, the people in reception were watching Sky News. And who was being interviewed? None other than Colonel Bob Stewart himself.

So next time the sodding Beeb ring me wanting him, I'll tell them to call their friends at Sky to get the right number.