nous pensons que c'est bon de dormir après midi

At the moment I am capable of talking about houses and freezepop, and not much else. This is unfortunate for my students, who want me to be teaching them science. Today at least I got to blether about the fact the gas engineer had come to make sure we weren't going to die of carbon monoxide poisoning, because it was actually relevant to what I was supposed to be teaching.

The reason I have house on the brain is that I have one. It's all mine! (well, mine & the boy's & the bank's. Actually, mostly the bank's). It needs work doing, not much by comparison with other places, but some vile hues of greenishblue need to be removed and the decking at the back needs wrecking and everything needs cleaning - even though it looks clean, there's dust up my nose the whole time I'm there, which is most of the time now. I am eternally grateful to Crown Paints for inventing the Breatheasy range, which means I can actually do most of the work myself without dying in the process. I am not grateful to all the DIY shops who sell protective clothing only in mens' sizes. Oh yeah, I could get women's gloves for "light" work with pink and purple flowers on. I don't want gloves with flowers on, I want ones that actually protect me!! Also, dust masks without natural rubber components seem to be nonexistent, which is part of the entire mammoth post about Shopping With Allergies that I've been meaning to write for several months now.

I don't like "home" being somewhere other than where my stuff is. We need to move.

Wanted: Movers. No experience necessary.

Small dynamic London-based family unit urgently seeks dedicated professionals to move shit from one place to another. Failing that, amateurs would do.

Essential:
Must be somewhere near SW London sometime this weekend, & preferably able to give us specific times when you can help.
Must be able to pack and lift small boxes.
Must be able to put up with me at random extremes of my mood cycle (hyper-excited vs ultra-stressed).
Must be able to tolerate listening to freezepop on auto-repeat all day long. (I might be persuaded to put something else on eventually.)
Must be able to put up with my singing. Earplugs not provided, but you can bring your own.

Desirable:
Ability to drive a van. If you have a van of your own, this is a bonus.
Ability to lift large boxes and help lift things like sofas.
Making the tea (or alternatives) and remembering everyone's drink preferences.
Near-psychic ability to tell from Richard's body language when he's stressed out (seeing as I don't have that one perfect yet I'm not sure if anyone else will).
Willingness to give calming hugs to anyone who needs them.
Extra cash for experienced plasterers.

Full training provided. We are an equal opportunities employer.

[Poll #299466]