yep, still childfree here

I had a nightmare this morning which involved a friend of mine (unspecified) dying, and bequeathing me their child to bring up. So I became instant parent to an 18 month old boy called Jake who wouldn't stop shitting his nappies. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

Dear friends, when/if any of you become parents, please note that I am very happy to become the type of godparent who provides extra presents and trips to the zoo to your offspring - but in the event of your untimely demise, I don't want to have to bring them up. I only like children I can give back at the end of the day!