I need someone who studied genetics...

...Rather than teaching themselves from textbooks like I did.

I need to talk about the gene located at 4p16.3 in human chromosomes.

I vaguely recall reading somewhere that when you read out a gene locus, you don't say "4 p sixteen point 3" but instead "4 p one six point 3". Is that right?

I don't want to make a fool of myself in this talk!

(no figure provided)

This story is hilarious: How (not) to communicate new scientific information: a memoir of the famous Brindley lecture. Technically work-safe, since it describes a public lecture at a scientific conference; but the lecture was about erectile dysfunction and given by a scientist who was, er, eccentric. You'll see when you read the story.

Related to this is Discovery that a melanocortin regulates sexual functions in male and female humans, which is a fairly normal journal paper, until you get to the accidental side-effect...