I wish to register a complaint.

[baratron]

I am DEAD. Really. This is the letter I'm planning to send to my deity of choice:

Dear God,

I wish to register a complaint. This body you gave me is defective. I have spent the day mostly in bed, with gallstone pain, period pain and a cold, all at the same time. This shouldn't be allowed. I wish to claim a refund and/or a warranty replacement.

Thank you,
No love, h-l.

What do you think?

Blah. So, I have:

• a hot, achy gall bladder
  
• acid pain in my large intestine
  
• crampy spasmy uterus
  
• period so heavy I'm flooding through pads in a couple of hours
  
• wind. Lots of wind.
  
• a sore throat & cough
  
• itchy, watery, burny, bloodshot eyes
  
• not enough air in my lungs (I have, at least, taken more of my preventer inhaler so I can breathe mostly)
  
• excessively dry skin on my hands (no, that isn't a symptom of anything in particular, just the time of year)

It's especially bad because this period crept up on me from nowhere - my breasts only started hurting yesterday, so I figured my period wasn't due until the middle of next week. So I've been drinking orange juice right up till yesterday, and not been taking raspberry leaf because I didn't have any. Hence the utterly appalling uterine cramps that I usually manage to fend off by avoiding citrus fruit. Arrrghh.