Today I have been mostly held together by opioids.

I feel as though I should post some sort of update, but I have no idea what to say, because I'm not actually sure how I am. Yesterday's gallstone attack was Bad with a capital B. Sorry to make people panic - I was panicking myself, having basically collapsed in pain. I realised I was lying on the coffee table and it was hard, and I didn't really know what to do. Not very pleasant. Staggered to the bathroom, was very sick, lurched out of it long enough to wake up Richard with the words "Gallstones - eurgh", and threw up some more. After I finally finished throwing up, I took some Gaviscon to try to calm the insane internal acid attack, and semi-curled up on the bed as much as I could given that my entire torso seemed to be in agony. When it seemed that my stomach was vaguely settled, I took some Tramadol to try to deal with the pain - and even having taken that still lay awake for 2 hours rubbing my belly before it stopped hurting enough for me to sleep. Urgh.

Today I woke up feeling severely out of it, but I absolutely had to go to see one student because of deadlines. Took paracetamol & dihydrocodeine, and dozed on the bus for an hour. It almost worked - at least, by the time Epsom had finished having a power cut, my brain was vaguely on-line. Came home, made dinner, watched a Pokemon movie & ate the dinner, took more painkillers, made cake & ate it. I was feeling okay, but my gut is starting to do its thing again, so I honestly don't know what's going to happen. It might settle down with antacid and Tramadol, or I might have another night worshipping the gods Ralph and Hughie. Gah.

Sorry to keep going on about my evil gall bladder. Believe me, I am far more sick of it than you are.

dirty girl and eBay moan

I feel horrible today. You know that feeling when you get up late and don't have time to shower before you go to work? Well, today I didn't even have time to clean my teeth before I had to throw my clothes on and get out the door. Eurgh. Plus my hair is lank and greasy because I have a period. Just feel grubby and disgusting all over. I need to have a long, hot bath and wash my hair - but first, I need the house to warm up.

I am annoyed with someone on eBay. There was an auction for some rare video game merchandise that I bid on. With 12 hours left until the auction end, I put in a bid, sure that someone else would out-bid me. Except no one did, so I ended up winning it. Wouldn't be so bad, except I had entered a maximum bid that was quite a bit over the maximum I really wanted to pay. All that is my problem and completely irrelevant to the seller - what I'll actually do is keep the bits I want and sell on the rest. But the seller is arousing my suspicions. He has reasonable feedback (97.7% positive) but a few comments suggest that he isn't actually 100% above board - he does things like claim he's going to send out parcels "the same day" he receives payment by PayPal, but actually it's more like a week later. Fairly minor infringements, if they are true. However, for some reason, I can't pay this guy through PayPal the usual way - if you click through eBay Checkout it says "This seller is not able to receive money". After this happened a few days running (implying that it was more than just a temporary eBay/PayPal glitch), I emailed him. He replied, saying "You need to send the payment to dodgyemailaddress @hotmail, and I'll send your item when I receive confirmation that payment has been received". I was a bit... sceptical, but sent the payment anyway. That was a week ago. The account he told me to use is not set up for PayPal, and the payment is still sitting there unclaimed, making me more uneasy as time goes on. Am I feeling extra-resentful because I didn't really want to win the auction? I dunno. Just wish he'd either claim the damn payment and send me the items, or return the payment and not send me the items. It's this inbetween state of not knowing that I don't like.