1, 2, 3, 4 - I declare a stereo war

[baratron]

We are currently having a stereo war with our next-door neighbours. It's extremely passive-aggressive on my part, but I'm entirely lacking the energy for confrontation.

The way it's going is that our next-door neighbours keep putting on inappropriately loud music at annoying times of day. Like 4 o'clock in the afternoon or 10 at night. This is particularly selfish, as they have neighbours on both sides. Also, they have (imo) appalling taste in music - most of what they play is the stuff that's currently called "R&B". So I can have coming through my wall just the same 3 or 4 notes repeated over and over as the bass throbs through.

So I put on our stereo instead, usually with something fairly obnoxious. Like Paradise Lost (doom goth metal/synth crossover), Punk covers of Pop songs (Britney Spears & Backstreet Boys done punk-style), or Richard Cheese (lounge & big-band covers of rock, metal and rap songs). Not extremely loud like theirs, just loud enough to say "hey, if you can hear my stereo, then I can hear yours". Generally speaking, within 5 minutes of me doing this, their stereo gets turned down to a sensible volume. Result.

It's obviously not a very good result, though, because I have to keep doing it. Now, I quite like music, especially when I'm doing housework. so it's no skin off my nose. Plus we have no neighbours on the other side, so no one's being inconvenienced except the offenders. But I'm wondering what the best thing to do long-term would be, as they're just Not Getting the hint.

Write a letter to the neighbours? (made awkward by the fact I have no idea what their names are or how long they're going to be living there). Write to the letting agents? Write to the local papers? Or the council noise-prevention people? Or all of the above? Note that I really am not up to going next door and reasoning rationally at the moment - my nerves are all frayed by being ill.

Comments

[baratron.livejournal.com]

How about an outside body like the letting agents?

The other thing these tenants are doing that's pissing us off is sitting upstairs and smoking out of the front room window. If we have our windows open, the smoke blows straight in. Now, I know they're not allowed to smoke in the house because the previous tenants always went into the garden to do so. I really don't think it's appropriate for us to talk to the tenants directly about that..?

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Well, the previous tenants might just have gone outside because they didn't like their flat to be smelly and/or because making that rule for themselves helped them to cut down. sgloomi has started doing it for those reasons, for instance. Why wouldn't it be appropriate to talk to them directly, though? I know on the odd occasions when our neighbours have had issues with us, I've always preferred the ones who came to the door and asked politely to the ones who sent notes (especially anonymous ones) or threatened to go to the Council straight away.

[esbat.livejournal.com]

It's a difficult one. I've seen these kinds of things more often than I'd really like and it rarely ends well. The noise issue is usually slightly more fruitful because you have the possibility of agreeing on certain times during which neither of you play loud music.

People tend to get very defensive when you try to modify their behaviour in what they consider to be their personal space. It's an acute problem with living in a flat where your neighbour's behaviour is much more likely to be intrusive. In a house, that's usually less of an issue. IMHO, the only people who should live in flats are hard-of-hearing, easy-going, heavy sleepers who don't like music. ;)

So what I can see happening in your situation is that the tenants downstairs feel under seige from your complaints, things escalate but finally they comply, then they find somewhere else to live and drive you bonkers during their last month by exaggerating everything you complained about in the first place.

Realistically, the best you can achieve here is not for them to stop doing everything that annoys you, but for you to get a dialogue going that sweet talks them into giving some ground. Easier said than done. If you involve an outside body it's likely they'll feel you're attacking them and unless they're very reasonable people, things will get nasty. The letting agent has the power to kick them out, so also the ones most likely to scare them into making your life hell.

I still think your best option is to open a dialogue in a friendly "oh, we'd be ever so grateful, what with ." Milk it basically. If you can't do it face to face, then do it with a letter.

Oh and also, you probably think you're model neighbours towards them and perhaps you are, I have no idea, but be prepared to change something you do even if only as a token because there may be something you do that annoys them. If so, you have a much better bargaining position.

And sorry if any of this is pointing out the obvious or being patronising. :)