I Rock.

[baratron]

I want to boast about something.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the bath washing my hair because we don't have enough hot water for me to shower, and I had a flashback. (By "flashback" I mean in the trauma sense, suddenly reliving the terrifying event.) It was a combination of the pain I was in (my gall bladder was severely cramping, sending the cramps all round my digestive system), the stark white tiles on the wall, and claustrophobia - our bathroom is tiny anyway, and so is our bath. Suddenly terrified and panicking, I wanted to leap out the bath and collapse in a sobbing mess on the floor.

What I actually did was stay put, forcing myself to breathe normally and see what was actually there - that I was at home, in my own bathroom, there was no one there to hurt me. I cried a bit and rocked a bit, but I got through it, and finished washing my hair - just constantly focusing on the present.

The flashback is lurking at the back of my mind. It's not happy that I derailed it. It wants to take me over.

I won't let it. I am Wolf. Hear me roar.

(*hugs* and blank comments are ok if you don't know what to say.)

Comments

[rowan-leigh.livejournal.com]

Well, go you! *blows raspberries at your cowardly, lurking little flashback*.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

Here is a *hug*, and warm thoughts.

[ceno.livejournal.com]

Well done, it's not easy to sit through the painful emotions. It's something I've been trying to do myself when I get waves of ickiness... try not to run away.

*hugs*

*hug*

[erik]

You are so amazingly strong. I admire you a great deal.

You Rock

[ailbhe]

Go you.

If it helps, once I had managed that once (realised I was having a flashback, that it wasn't really happening to me right now, fought it) it became easier, in general. And now I almost never get flashbacks at all, and when I do they are much less traumatising. And less physically painful, as though the physical memory of the pain has faded.

So there's a teeny tiny light at the end of the tunnel, now you've worked out how to walk down it.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

yay. :) *hug*

[treacle-well.livejournal.com]

Most boastworthy.

Hugs.

[elfgeek.livejournal.com]

Hehe, keep on!

[barakta]

Cool. I hope it becomes 'easier' to do that to future flashbacks and whatnot.

[36.livejournal.com]

Cool, that's a useful skill.

[inquis.livejournal.com]

Go you. That's better than I managed today. I still thank the gods for valium...

[griffen.livejournal.com]

I am SO proud of you! :)

[kshandra]

Roar, my dear friend. Roar until the very heavens shake.

*hugs*

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Go you. A mighty victory.

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. :)

*hugs*

[otterylexa.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
Go Wolfy!

[jenett]

*hugs*

[taimatsu]

You do, indeed, rock. Thinking of you.

[jhaelan.livejournal.com]

\m/

You do rock!

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Jai!

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Rip it up, wolf! *hug*

[lindsical.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you talked yourself through the flashback.

[bfo.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[evilref.livejournal.com]

Go you. And remember, practice makes perfect - the next time you do this, it will be a little bit easier, since you know you can win. And the next time will be easier still, and so on.

[nitoda]

WELL DONE YOU!!! Hope this brings you strength you can draw on for the next time ... now that you have overcome this thing once, you CAN do it again. (But don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work every single time, OK?)
HUGS!

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Oh, well done!

[judiff]

cool