yet more mood swings and roundabouts

[baratron]

I'm trying to do some research online, but I can't seem to find what I want. It's most annoying.

I've been in a very strange mood for the past couple of days, and it's been going on for long enough that I'm worried. The only way I can really describe it is to say that I seem to have hypomania and depression at the same time. I'm ridiculously perky, and I keep alternating (every few minutes) between having loads of energy and exhaustion. I feel restless and agitated and completely hyperactive. I get hungry but hardly want to eat anything. My indecision's even worse than ever. On the one hand I'm extremely easily distracted and I have next to no concentration span, yet at the same time I'm getting obsessed by things, like playing the same CD or even the same song over and over again. I keep saying things that other people interpret as non-sequiturs because in between what they've said and my reply, my mind's leapt three stages ahead. And I keep getting terrible fits of random guilt about stupid things (for instance, feeling guilty because I haven't read any newsgroups for a few weeks, and then depressed because I don't actually miss reading news).

I feel as though my moods are cycling between depression and elation every couple of minutes. It's not the first time I've felt like this - a few years ago I remember describing my mood swings and asking the doctor about manic depression (which is what it was called then), and being told my mood swings were far far too frequent to be anything like that. I'm used to very rapid changes of mood, but they're usually only from normal to depressed. Now I'm going from elated to depressed without stopping inbetween, and cycling every few minutes. (Think perk perk perk CRASH.) This scares me, because it's all too similar to how I felt last year when I had some sort of nervous breakdown (then, my moods were cycling from suicidal to high about once a minute, and I really was completely off my head). I can't seem to find anything online about mood swings of this frequency, though. I'm vaguely wondering if it's hormonal, but I can't find anything about that either. Has anyone got any idea what it could be?

Comments

[meirion.livejournal.com]

to me, that sounds like some kind of reaction to medication, and you should probably see your doctor about it.

unlike previous commenters here, i don't think it's likely to be rapid cycling bipolar disorder. mainly because you have very little possible history of bipolar disorder, and rapid cycling bipolar disorder is much more likely to occur if you've had untreated bipolar I or bipolar II for some years.

if you're interested in investigating precursors to bipolar disorder, try googling for cyclothemia. i don't think what you're describing sounds like bipolar to me. i've been looking at the pages recommended by inquis and i suspect i'll have comments to make in my own journal.

when i was rapid-cycling earlier this summer i got completely paranoid thinking i had borderline personality disorder, which seems to have a much more rapid cycling frequency than bipolar normally does. that was, of course, until the day i was so far manic that people's jaws were dropping open when i was talking to them.

hmmm, more later. particularly about the hypersexuality link off about.bipolar.com, and how that relates to c's comments about bipolar disorder and polyamory.

-m-

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Yes - cyclothymia was the first thing I looked for yesterday, in fact. However, the DSM-IV criteria for cyclothymia (http://www.a-silver-lining.org/BPNDepth/criteria_d.html#CyclothymicDisorder) specifically says "No Major Depressive Episode, Manic Episode, or Mixed Episode has been present during the first 2 years of the disturbance.", which completely and utterly rules it out for me.

I wish it was a reaction to medication, but I haven't had anything changed for a few months. Mystery :(

[thekumquat.livejournal.com]

Well you've had those period problems recently - could be some sort of general hormone thing? I've had the same sorts of rapid mood changes and concluded that it was me using all my mental tools to hide the depression, succeeding, and then collapsing again - could that fit you?