sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills

[baratron]

So, um... I realised somewhat belatedly that I was manic the whole of last week. That would explain the lack of sleep, the hyperactivity, the super-rapid mood shifts... I don't seem to do pure mania, but I have weird hypomanic mixed states where I oscillate between extreme perkiness and severe anxiety/panic attacks. I'm still not very good at identifying them, because, well... being bouncy/perky must always be good, right? Hmm.

On Friday night/Saturday morning, Something Very Bad happened. The sort of thing that I would never do if I was in proper control of myself. One of those bipolar impulsiveness thing that you start regretting as soon as you're back in your right brain. As a result I had to go out at the crack of dawn on Saturday for emergency medical treatment, with a followup yesterday evening and this afternoon. Yes, I am being deliberately vague about what happened and I want to keep it that way. (Apologies to the terminally nosy :P ).

I think I'm okay now mentally, but I have completely screwed up the exam I did on Monday due to doing no revision because I spent the whole weekend crying. (Three hours quickly skimming notes on Monday morning doesn't really count, does it?). Have obtained a mitigating circumstances form from college and a letter from the doctor to say I was mad, also going to talk to my mental health mentor who probably has a better idea of what to write on the form than I do. Still rather sore physically, and realising that there is Stuff From My Past that I *do* actually need to speak to someone about. Should have asked the doctor today about getting back in the queue for psychotherapy, damn. Kinda had other things on my mind.

Also, my personal tutor is now officially in need of a medal. I phoned him on Sunday night and he spent 20 minutes saying helpful things and being comforting while I cried. ("It's only an exam and your health is more important" being the one that I remember best - I'm often bad at priorities). How exactly do you go about nominating people for things like CBEs and MBEs? He needs some sort of official certification of awesomeness. I wonder if the college has any kind of award for staff who go way beyond the call of duty with regard to student welfare. If they don't, I'll go and moan at my friend in the student union until they come up with something ;)

Comments

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

There's probably at the very least a Dean or someone like that you could write a very complimentary letter to. Make sure they know what awesomeness they have. :)

[mjl]

Hope the college can do something useful about your Monday exam. But whatever they can or not, I think you've achieved more than enough to demonstrate that you can do college stuff successfully.

You nominate people for honours by filling in a form, and getting some letters of support for what you're claiming (helps if they're people with some status themselves). I'm not sure helping you is enough - you'd need to show that he goes way beyond what is required for students in general (or at least a group). The stuff is at http://www.honours.gov.uk/ . But doing that possibly shouldn't be your first priority.

[mjl]

I was going to say that something internal to the college or student union might be easier and more appropriate. People tend to get MBEs after many years of doing stuff, if it's their actual job, even if they do it very well.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I was being at least slightly facetious. Just a little :)

But it's a useful thing to know for the future, indeed.

[mjl]

Oh good :) Happened to be looking at it for other reasons a couple of months ago - it's actually really straightforward. If more people bothered to put in nominations, they'd probably have to make it harder...

[barakta]

I'd definitely write to Philip and indeed send a different letter to the HoD to say how wonderful Philip has been to you. I know in my work we anonymise all thankyous and print them for the admin office wall and they're sent to appropriate people. One of my students sent a wonderful one the other week - was appreciated and not expeced.

[tiger-spot.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I'm glad you're doing better now.

[maniackatie.livejournal.com]

"(Apologies to the terminally nosy :P )"

Apology accepted. ;)
Just glad to hear you're feeling better.