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I Am Not Normal.
Nov. 24th, 2003 02:46 pmWhy is this a lesson I need to learn so often?
I went to see freezepop yesterday, it was great: yay, yay, bounce, ugh. Ugh is how I feel today.
The phenomenon of me going to see a band, having a fantastic time and then having my mood go splat afterwards has been well documented, so I'll spare you having to read that again. So take it as read that some of my ugh is depression from being thoroughly over-perked yesterday. The rest is physical ugh. Ugh and argh and how much pain? And then a load of guilt, depression and angst about the pain.
The crux of my problem is: "normal" people my age can go out without feeling like complete shit the next day.
Since I got my diagnosis and a treatment plan earlier this year, I've been doing my best to lead a normal life. Having been so bloody ill only a few months ago, I didn't take the decision to go back to college lightly. What I'm doing now is really tough - one day a week in college, four days a week in school, having to spend hours and hours preparing for lessons I'm teaching and with college essays on top. I wouldn't have applied for the course if I thought I wasn't physically up to it. And for the most part, I am up to it.
( There's always a but. )
I went to see freezepop yesterday, it was great: yay, yay, bounce, ugh. Ugh is how I feel today.
The phenomenon of me going to see a band, having a fantastic time and then having my mood go splat afterwards has been well documented, so I'll spare you having to read that again. So take it as read that some of my ugh is depression from being thoroughly over-perked yesterday. The rest is physical ugh. Ugh and argh and how much pain? And then a load of guilt, depression and angst about the pain.
The crux of my problem is: "normal" people my age can go out without feeling like complete shit the next day.
Since I got my diagnosis and a treatment plan earlier this year, I've been doing my best to lead a normal life. Having been so bloody ill only a few months ago, I didn't take the decision to go back to college lightly. What I'm doing now is really tough - one day a week in college, four days a week in school, having to spend hours and hours preparing for lessons I'm teaching and with college essays on top. I wouldn't have applied for the course if I thought I wasn't physically up to it. And for the most part, I am up to it.
( There's always a but. )
