baratron: (blue)
[personal profile] baratron
o yeah. Earlier today, I had this bright idea for something to improve the lives of many. It went like this:

One of the many reasons why Richard is a great boyfriend is that his answer to the perennial female question of "Does my bum look big in this?" is "Yes! It looks fantastic!". Having a man who considers my derriere to be an attraction rather than a drawback is definitely one of the plus points in our relationship. Noticing the abundance of this particular paranoia amongst women, I figured that I could do some good by promoting the idea that plenty of men rather like the big bum thing. So I figured that every big-assed woman needs a man who loves big asses.

But then I figured that not all women want men, and hey, I like women too - so thought it should be changed to every big-assed woman needs a partner who loves big asses.

But then I figured that not all woman want partners, and some of us want more than one, so decided to go with every big-assed woman who wants partners should have someone who loves big asses.

But then I thought why leave out the smaller-assed women, whose partners might appreciate their talents just as much? So every woman who wants a partner should have someone who loves her ass.

But then I thought why leave out those straight & bi women and gay men who utterly appreciate their boys' butts? So we should just go with Everyone who wants a partner should have one who loves their ass.

Print it up, put it on t-shirts, post it in your lj! Spread the word!

There is a serious message here.

Date: 2004-12-21 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aca.livejournal.com
Then you should probably contact the Guiness Book of Records? I believe one ass is the standard issue, last I checked.

Date: 2004-12-21 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hobbitbabe.livejournal.com
Two buttocks, one ass, two partners ...

Date: 2004-12-21 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aca.livejournal.com
How far to extrapolate this? 3 asses, 6 cheeks. It's a whole ass love in.

Wait, that can't be something I'm allowed to type!

Date: 2004-12-23 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baratron.livejournal.com
I deliberately didn't make it "Everyone who wants partners should have ones who love their ass", because one of the advantages of polyamory is that you don't have to get all your "requirements" met by one person. If one of your partners luurrrves your ass, and another one is merely ok about it, that's just fine. Isn't it? As long as none of them are actively hostile towards the asses involved...

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