my attempt at world domination!

[baratron]

o yeah. Earlier today, I had this bright idea for something to improve the lives of many. It went like this:

One of the many reasons why Richard is a great boyfriend is that his answer to the perennial female question of "Does my bum look big in this?" is "Yes! It looks fantastic!". Having a man who considers my derriere to be an attraction rather than a drawback is definitely one of the plus points in our relationship. Noticing the abundance of this particular paranoia amongst women, I figured that I could do some good by promoting the idea that plenty of men rather like the big bum thing. So I figured that every big-assed woman needs a man who loves big asses.

But then I figured that not all women want men, and hey, I like women too - so thought it should be changed to every big-assed woman needs a partner who loves big asses.

But then I figured that not all woman want partners, and some of us want more than one, so decided to go with every big-assed woman who wants partners should have someone who loves big asses.

But then I thought why leave out the smaller-assed women, whose partners might appreciate their talents just as much? So every woman who wants a partner should have someone who loves her ass.

But then I thought why leave out those straight & bi women and gay men who utterly appreciate their boys' butts? So we should just go with Everyone who wants a partner should have one who loves their ass.

Print it up, put it on t-shirts, post it in your lj! Spread the word!

There is a serious message here.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

And just when you thought you'd done all the editing needed ... what if I want/have more than one??

[aca.livejournal.com]

Then you should probably contact the Guiness Book of Records? I believe one ass is the standard issue, last I checked.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Two buttocks, one ass, two partners ...

[aca.livejournal.com]

How far to extrapolate this? 3 asses, 6 cheeks. It's a whole ass love in.

Wait, that can't be something I'm allowed to type!

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I deliberately didn't make it "Everyone who wants partners should have ones who love their ass", because one of the advantages of polyamory is that you don't have to get all your "requirements" met by one person. If one of your partners luurrrves your ass, and another one is merely ok about it, that's just fine. Isn't it? As long as none of them are actively hostile towards the asses involved...

[redbird]

Some of us just aren't especially interested in asses. Neither cattitude nor I is, for example. Hasn't stopped us from having a very good and loving relationship: he appreciates my body, that's just not his focus.

[aca.livejournal.com]

Think of it as a metaphorical ass. Or something. :)

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Well, that's just fine. You don't care much about arses, and neither does he. So that's great! The problem would be if one of you thought the ass was one of the nicest parts of the other person, and the other person thought that was highly weird.

I could add on "Anyone who doesn't care much for asses should find a partner who feels similarly", but that could dilute the message of the previous part. Which is, basically, Love your body. Something you see as a disadvantage could be your greatest asset, if only you'd learn to see it that way...

[aca.livejournal.com]

There is a serious message here.

I think it got lost with all this talk of asses. As the easterbunny will tell you, I am indeed a subscriber to this philosophy and we are mutually fond of our derrieres. :)

[ludy]

may you and your ass and your partners and there asses all have a very hapy solstice

[ailbhe]

Love me, love my butt.

[wuluf.livejournal.com]

Your ass is like your personality its big and bouncy. And you know what Queen and Spinal Tap sang about big bums.