I think my drugs just kicked in.

[baratron]

I have had the most amazing day! Woke up today feeling bleurgh but got on with life anyway - and look what I've done!

• Work for money (1 hour).
  
• Emptied the clothes drying rack & put the contents away.
  
• Loaded up the dishwasher & set it running.
  
• Put a load of laundry on.
  
• Folded up the entire contents of the laundry basket so that later in the week I can just pull out a pile & bung it in the washing machine.
  
• Emptied the dishwasher (assisted by meeping).
  
• Made dinner for 4 people (assisted by gerwinium).
  
• Put the clean, wet laundry on the clothes drying rack.
  
• Hoovered the bathroom, landing & half the bedroom.
  
• Tidied up the front room - it's still an expletive deleted tip, but you can see floor and table now!
  
• Hoovered all the accessible bits of the front room floor.
  
• Sorted out a load of video games to sell on eBay.
  
• Filled the recycling bin. (wuzzie put it outside).
  
• Talked to artremis on the phone.
  
• Filled in my accounts book so it's up-to-date.
  
• Did 2 invoices for the tuition agencies, wrote the cheques & envelopes, ready for wuzzie to take to the post tomorrow.
  
• Wrote all the information in my paying-in book so I can just take it to the bank tomorrow without needing to faff.
  
• Photographed all the stuff for eBay.
  
• Had a shower.
  and, most excitingly of all,
  
• Completed three songs on the Insane mode of Amplitude for the first time ever!!

I know it might seem weird that I'm spelling out every stage, so Emptied the clothes drying rack, Put a load of laundry on and Put the clean, wet laundry on the clothes drying rack are three separate items, but on a bad day, each of those would take one of my metaphorical spoons.

I have something of a confession to make. I think that I must have stolen several other people's supplies of spoons. If you have been exhausted and apathetic all day I'm sorry! I'll give the spoons back as soon as I have some spare! On the other hand, maybe a bunch of you were hoping and praying that I'd have a pain-free day one of these millennia, and if that was the case - thank you. I enjoyed it.

The reason I've put Completed three songs on the Insane mode of Amplitude for the first time ever in bold is that for several weeks now, I haven't even had enough concentration to be able to play the game, let alone get half-decent scores on vaguely difficult songs. Today I sat down and played REALLY DAMN DIFFICULT songs fairly easily. (Yes, my scores sucked - but I completed the songs!). It is exactly 2 weeks since my antidepressant dosage went up - it looks like it's actually had some effect. Hooray!

I'm happy :) Even if I have a totally crap rest of the week, at least I got a lot of useful things done today.

Comments

[jhaelan.livejournal.com]

What you say makes a lot of sense, particularly within the context of h-l ;) One thing particularly resonated, the thoughts about holisticsm

Examining myself by looking at the different facets of me was interesting and challenging because it's not something I like other people doing and it's not something that reflects how I live. It is/was an interesting and useful experiment in attempting to separate out bits of myself, and to understand the whole by looking at the parts. It was driven by a fear/thought that I was still moving in distinctly different circles of people and some of them would only see one facet of me - not because I was not being myself, but because the context encouraged particular aspects of my character to assert themselves more strongly. Perhaps that is me not being myself, perhaps I'm just socially chameleonic - I'm still not sure

Going back to your remark about my entries being a little distanced from the real me: I would say I talk quite openly about the things that make me tick - who I am in the world, connections with other people, etc - it's just there less rooted in a physical commons as a social one (and that's by no means saying one is "better" than the other). If I had more physical concerns I like to think I would talk about them - and I have, when I'm ill or when I had exceedingly minor surgery earlier in the year