I'm supposed to be at work...

[baratron]

...so why am I sitting in front of the computer in my pyjamas?

I woke up too early this morning, and rather than getting up I thought "sod it, I'll just go back to sleep until my alarm goes off". Had no trouble falling asleep again, but I dreamt something weird and strange which meant when my alarm went off I woke up shaking and crying. After half an hour of lying in bed clutching a small furry ewok, I was still too damn agoraphobic and panicky to go in, and by then it was too late anyway.

Nightmares are a pain in the arse. I've been having more of them since I dropped my antidepressant dosage down, but I don't think that's the cause. I think it's worry about what's going to happen over Christmas. Since my teens, it's been a nightmare every single year, except last year when we went to spend it with Richard's parents. Although I spent some of Christmas day in hospital (because I had a bad asthma attack and couldn't breathe), it was still a better Christmas than anything I've had with my family in recent years. We'd hoped to do much the same thing this year, but things got complicated because Richard's mum died. *sigh*

Sorry to post something angsty after not having written anything for a while - I didn't mean to clutter up your friends page with moaning. If it helps, you can look at elynne's piss-take of angsty poetry afterwards, and that should cheer you up again.

Comments

[adjectivemarcus.livejournal.com]

I hate nightmares. I'm lucky in that I don't often have them. And I hope you have a good Xmas!

Incidentally, I'm referred here to nudge your elbow and say "How's it going?" regarding this (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=17237297&nc=1)...

Coming to the Mitre (http://www.bisexualunderground.org/) on Friday?

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I'll be there (of course), but not until late, as I'm going to meirion's post-PhD hopefully-celebration in Cambridge first.

[the-maenad.livejournal.com]

As one Xmas-hater to another, do you fancy coming round at some point during the holidays to see the new place, do games, vids etc, and get away from You Know What?

(Or maybe even go out to the flicks again? LotR will be out by then, which gives me something to actually look forward to this time round).

*empathy*

[kshandra]

Nightmares are a pain in the arse.

Seeble-by-proxy. See what my husband's been dealing with....