The internet is for porn.

[baratron]

Had one of those annoying television/broadband/phone package salesmen on the doorstep today. Quite apart from the fact that it was inconvenient because I had a student in the house, we are really not interested in changing our phone company, internet service provider or "energy provider" (gas & electricity). I tried to get rid of him immediately, but unfortunately he was one of those who can't take a hint. And I don't like shutting the door in people's faces, because I was brought up properly, etc.

So we had a surreal conversation in which first he didn't believe that we don't watch television. Then he wanted to know who we got our broadband from. Then he wanted to know if it included porn.

To which my reaction could only have been "!!!".

So I said "We don't download any porn in this household, thank you". Which is true. Richard downloads many photos of sweaty paintballers in "action shots", and videos of machines doing what machines do, and photos of engineers working on their machines, but very few pictures of naked girlies. And the closest I get to porn are the occasional nekkid pictures of friends on their livejournals. Which I'm sure doesn't count, because I actually know them and they're not selling it for money.

So he replied, "No, I mean PORN!". And did the time-honoured, Sims 2-style action of American Sign Language "I love you"/rock fans' METAL!! hand (\m/) held against the ear to indicate a telephone. And thus I realised, belatedly, that he was from one of the ethnicities that pronounce the soft "ph" sound in English as a hard "p".

"Um," I said. "There's a big difference between the phone and porn. And you should really learn that if you're going to go round knocking on people's doors, or you'll seriously offend someone."

Comments

[ludy]

i have to confess that i have looked at pictures of yarn and a few knitting patterns at your house ;)

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Let this be a lesson to you.

Think of how much less embarrassing and awkward this would have been for EVERYONE had you simply said, "Thank you, no," and closed the door in his face.

(It's not rude to close the door in someone's face so long as you say, "Thank you, no", as you are doing it.)

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was particularly embarrassing or awkward. Until I read your comment, I was actually pleased that I'd been able to tell the guy that his pronunciation is a problem, because that will help him in his career. (I don't have any objection to people being employed to sell legal, ethical products and services, and I know that if a person does watch satellite TV then Sky+ is one of the better options and would save them money.) If he'd said "home telephone" then even if the phone came out as "porn", it would have been quite perfectly clear.

Also, I think there are some differences between British and North American manners, as well as differences between manners in different parts of the same country. Within my code of manners, it's not acceptable to shut the door in someone's face until you have at least attempted to reason with them. Other people draw the line in different places, and might even argue that it's beneficial to the salesman to be able to cross you off the list immediately, saving him some time. But that's not in my code of politeness.

[rowan-leigh.livejournal.com]

Closing the door in their faces immediately does reduce the possibility that the salesperson will attempt to push past you and into your home, which I believe has happened to a friend of mine.

[rowan-leigh.livejournal.com]

Actually, I am confusing a case of a salesperson who refused to leave after having been invited in until he'd obtained a signature, and a meter-reader who pushed past someone else, insisting that a verbal reading was not satisfactory.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Oh. "Until I read your comment. . . "

I'm sorry -- I didn't mean to remove a source of pleasure. Um. That was bad on my part.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

That's really funny. I wonder how many people he'd said that to? I suppose there aren't many people who don't watch TV at all.

[emperor]

*giggle*

[skibbley.livejournal.com]

*grin*
I consider door-to-door or cold call sales to be harassment and am happy to express by disapproval, erm, directly.

[nitoda]

I am not as patient as you. Or as polite. Last night during the last five minute of Coronation Street (yes, I'm sad, I know) someone rang our bell, and I answered it, to find someone who said he was from the Green Party. I lost it, said something like, "Oh, no, it's the middle of Corrie. Go away!" and shut the door in his face. Oops. Felt a little bad, but afterwards wondered what they wanted when as far as I know there is no election in the offing.