helen-louise's journal

Boris Johnson vs 2 anonymous DJs - Is Fatboy Slim a DJ?


Features an extremely surreal video by Aardman Animations, including brightly coloured flashing things, a rotating owl, a headbanging red guy, bears with their claws out, and your actual Boris Johnson waffling over the top. About Terry Wogan, and bass guitars, and do DJs still do that weird scratchy thing that Malcolm McLaren did?

The purpose of this oddity is to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support, which is definitely a worthy charity.

Enjoy the surreality, and perhaps donate a few quid in return?

For kightp and rjw1, and everyone else who loves bacon: Bacon Salt! Makes everything taste like bacon! Also Baconnaisse, which is bacon-flavoured mayonnaise. All the products are vegetarian and kosher (!), some are vegan.

For epi_lj and stellarwind: Awesome games of great awesomeness! Personally, I think that wuzzie and I should get Accordion Hero II, but Cthulhu Karts is also appealing. Note to meeping and gerwinium: Nacht Musik sounds like the best haunted house horror crossover since Typing of the Dead. And what Sims or Animal Crossing fan could resist Grand Theft Ottoman?

For anyone who knows enough about Pokemon to get the joke: Murderous Magikarp t-shirt. I want. Does not exist in girl sizes though, grumble.

Why is the coolest thing on the list fake?

Had one of those annoying television/broadband/phone package salesmen on the doorstep today. Quite apart from the fact that it was inconvenient because I had a student in the house, we are really not interested in changing our phone company, internet service provider or "energy provider" (gas & electricity). I tried to get rid of him immediately, but unfortunately he was one of those who can't take a hint. And I don't like shutting the door in people's faces, because I was brought up properly, etc.

So we had a surreal conversation in which first he didn't believe that we don't watch television. Then he wanted to know who we got our broadband from. Then he wanted to know if it included porn.

To which my reaction could only have been "!!!".

So I said "We don't download any porn in this household, thank you". Which is true. Richard downloads many photos of sweaty paintballers in "action shots", and videos of machines doing what machines do, and photos of engineers working on their machines, but very few pictures of naked girlies. And the closest I get to porn are the occasional nekkid pictures of friends on their livejournals. Which I'm sure doesn't count, because I actually know them and they're not selling it for money.

So he replied, "No, I mean PORN!". And did the time-honoured, Sims 2-style action of American Sign Language "I love you"/rock fans' METAL!! hand (\m/) held against the ear to indicate a telephone. And thus I realised, belatedly, that he was from one of the ethnicities that pronounce the soft "ph" sound in English as a hard "p".

"Um," I said. "There's a big difference between the phone and porn. And you should really learn that if you're going to go round knocking on people's doors, or you'll seriously offend someone."

It is flippin' funny when I enter my Spam folder on Googlemail and the Google ad is for "Spam Breakfast Burritos - Bake 5-10 minutes, serve with salsa".