Apparently my relationships do not actually exist.

[baratron]

GRRRRRRRRR. Someone on a Sims 3 forum has just told me that you can only have one steady relationship at a time in real life.

A person requested a mod for: "Polyamory including multiple boyfriend/girlfriend --> spouses."

The modder explained that he wouldn't write such a mod because in order to do so, you have to corrupt the relationship data, since in Sims 3 EAxis have decided that you can only set the "Steady" flag between pairs of sims.

I wrote: "Bah! Bloody EAxis. Why did they have to change the perfectly good Sims 2 code, where you could have multiple Boyfriends/Girlfriends but only one Husband/Wife? That's the same as it is in real life. Whereas the current thing where you can only have one Boyfriend/Girlfriend at a time is just unrealistic! *GRUMBLE*"

The person who has upset me wrote: "Um, in real life you can have only one steady, if you are that type of person."

I wrote: "Thank you for telling me that my relationships do not exist >:(. I have a boyfriend called Richard who I've been with for 13 years, and a girlfriend called Alexa who I've been with for 9 years. As far as I'm aware, relationships that have been going on for 9 years plus are pretty damn steady.

You can only have one legal husband or wife. You can have as many steady partners as you want, as long as everyone consents. You can even call more than one a "husband" or "wife" and have a commitment ceremony to prove that, as long as you are only legally married to one at a time.

Seeing as someone even used the word polyamory in their request for a mod, it shouldn't be surprising to learn that some people in the Sims community do that in real life too.

Actually upset now :(."

How dare he say that a person can only have one steady relationship at a time! Edit: Update

Comments

Update, following apology

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I feel pretty stupid since someone pointed out that you probably meant "in real life you can have only one steady, if you are the type of person who can have only one steady relationship at a time". Which a lot of people, even in the non-monogamous world do. They have one long-term/live-in partner who is a spouse or spousal equivalent, and then they have hot monkey sex with other people.

Indeed, I had a horrible experience along those lines with a partner's partner some years ago :(. He and I were both going for polyamory as meaning "multiple loving relationships at the same time", and she had the definition in her head of "one serious relationship and then sexual friendships with others". As we were using the same word, I assumed that we were also using the same meaning. It was pretty nasty, since I generally make a habit of getting on well with my partners' other partners, and she wanted nothing to do with me.

Even a statement like "In real life most people only have one steady" wouldn't have bothered me, since it's true.

It just bothers me that they changed the names for Sims 3 because, to me, "Romantic Interest" doesn't convey the same depth of feeling. It's like someone that you're thinking about dating, rather than someone with whom you're in a committed relationship. I don't quite know why they even moved the "Steady" flag into adult relationships - in Sims 2, it was only for teen relationships. So having one Boyfriend/Girlfriend and then N Romantic Interests just doesn't mean the same to me.

Here's an interesting nuance for a modder. Is it possible to set someone as a Boyfriend/Girlfriend without setting the steady flag? If that's the thing that corrupts the data.

Re: Update, following apology

[redbird]

I still think that "in real life you can only do x, if you're the kind of person who only does x" isn't a good reason to make code that assumes that everyone is that kind of person. There are lots of things that most people do in real life, and that many of them think everyone should do. That doesn't mean it's good coding to assume that everyone over a certain age drives a car, either.

Re: Update, following apology

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Re: Update, following apology

[baratron.livejournal.com]

In general, it seems like they've been trying to reduce the feeble amount of adult content in The Sims series down to zero. They took out the hug with bottom rubbing, and the dry humping animations that were in Sims 2! I don't need dry humping, but the hug with bottom rubbing was adorable, and I miss it!

Presumably, having more than one relationship at the same time is "adult" too :P

Re: Update, following apology

[keldaryth.livejournal.com]

I nearly pointed that out and yes, it seems like a bit of circular reasoning.

"You can only do x, if you're a person who does x" is like, "You can only have one religion if you're a person who only believes in having one religion" or "You can eat only vegetables (no meat) if you're a person who believes in eating only vegetables (no meat)".

It's sort of a stupid argument. You could easily turn around and say "You can only have more than one steady in real life if you're a person who believes in having more than one steady in real life..."