The latest installment.

[baratron]

Especially for those of you following at home and living vicariously through our wedding dramas. "Thank God it's not me, thank God it's not me!" :D

The latest wedding-drama is actually not a drama at all as far as Richard & I are concerned, but is The End Of The World for my parents. I went to Fulham Town Hall today with the paperwork, and it's a complete dump. Gorgeous building, but utterly dilapidated, to the point of peeling and completely-missing paintwork on the walls, and carpet that is at least 20 years old with black marks all over it. The photo on the website must be several years old.

Kingston Registry Office, where we actually wanted it, but weren't allowed by my father*, is beautiful and has been recently updated. Or perhaps, was never allowed to get into that bad a state. Apparently, the council want to sell off Fulham Town Hall because it's worth more as a hotel or luxury flats than it's worth as a registry office

Anyway, this is a MASSIVE DISASTER because "OH NO, IT WILL LOOK TERRIBLE IN THE PHOTOS! I think I'm going to cry!!" Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but I thought the important part of photos was the people in them?

I thought that, traditionally, it's one of the people getting married who's supposed to turn into Bridezilla and storm around making unreasonable requests for several months? But no - every unreasonable request so far has come from one of my parents. Honestly - you'd think it was THEIR wedding.

* Kingston Registry Office is just up the road from our house, opposite Norbiton station. It would have been Highly Convenient as a location. However, the father said we can't possibly have it there because his family would want to come round before/after the wedding & stay all day, & our house is a tip, & my parents' flat is a complete and utter tip that should be on one of those TV programmes about people with obsessive hoarding conditions.

Richard & I failed to understand why my father's family would have to come round (would anyone welcome their whole family into their house before the wedding? Even if they were close to them?), but he threw such a wobbly that we agreed to move it to Fulham, which is much more convenient for 222.

Comments

[alexmc.livejournal.com]

To be honest I thought that a lot of the wedding *was* for the parents.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

There were rather too many of my father's family who insisted on hanging around the house before my wedding so, yes, sadly it is possible.

(Ooh, you've probably never seen my wedding photos, have you, since you aren't on Facebook? I found a few recently and scanned them in!)

[ailbhe]

Our wedding dramaz really were all about what other people wanted, and since a wedding *to me* is a community event about publicising and getting societal support for a relationship, we basically pandered a lot. Who is taking photos? Can they bring a big bedsheet or other screen to be photo background? can photos be in a park? Can you hang a load of decorative quilts behind the registrar so the paintwork doesn't show in the snaps of the ceremony? Or buy them a photoshop license.?

[adjectivegail]

Two of my best friends from school, neither of whom I'm in close contact with any more, were incredibly hurt that I hadn't asked them to be bridesmaids - even after I informed them that I didn't want to have ANY bridesmaids.

"But I'll never have another opportunity!" wailed one. Turns out only getting arou d to getting married when 8 months pregnant stops most of that kind of stuff ;-)

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Actually, we haven't thought about photographers at all. I was figuring that since this is only the legal wedding to get the piece of paper, we wouldn't need particularly good photos, and family/friends' own snaps would be good enough.

And, y'know, if the cameras are focused ON US (i.e. we are most of the size of the frame), then a bit of shabbiness in the surroundings really doesn't matter.

[kiya]

Some friends of ours who had a low-budget wedding had a laptop set up to take downloads from everyone's digital cameras to make a mass pooled photo database.

Some other people who had a thing in which there were tables put a cheap disposable on each one for use of whoever was seated there, on similar principles.

[adjectivegail]

Oh what a shame. I agree with you though, not a disaster!

My mm declared it would be a disaster at our wedding if we didn't have "proper" champagne and not "merely" prosecco. Despite the fact the only difference is in where it's made!

Hang in there. It's your wedding and they can just lump it. I told my mum at one point that if she was that upset by something we were doing "wrong" about OUR day, she was very welcome to not come, as we didn't want anyone there who wasn't going to be happy about the event. The criticisms didn't entirely stop after that, but they did at least reduce and also were over much faster...

[kiya]

I gather it's too late to change the venue to the registry office you wanted in the first place, eh?

[jinian.livejournal.com]

If you think it would be therapeutic rather than additionally stressful, I can recommend the absolute wedding trainwrecks often posted on Hell's Bells (http://etiquettehell.com/hellsbells/) as fascinating/appalling reading. I have raised my standards for true rudeness since I started reading Etiquette Hell.

[hiddenpaw.livejournal.com]

Perhaps having somebody else doing the Bridezilla thing inoculates you.

[thekumquat.livejournal.com]

Actually I'm thinking "been there, done that, thank god it's never going to be me again!" :)

I clearly have low standards, as when Conflux and I presented our paperwork at Fulham Town Hall pre-wedding we were quite impressed by it! Though we do have a thing for 'faded grandeur' with architecture.
We only went to Wandsworth TH as it was next to Conflux's work and there was a nice pub/restaurant to take the parents to after - having never looked at it we were amazed at the grandeur!

However as we didn't want the main memories to be of that legal ceremony, I was quite chuffed that my parents forgot their camera and the Confluxparents' ones came out in an odd shade of green...

You may recall my parents turning into Zillas (or my dad at least being reported to be by my mum...) - the only thing Conflux's parents wanted was to see the legal bit, which was why the parents were there at all.