The Seven Year Gap

[baratron]

Hooray, I've been on Tumblr a matter of days and I've managed to have a huge argument with someone. They were posting about why certain Ace Attorney ships are evil, bad and wrong.

I was pointing out that actually, a 7 year age gap isn't all that much of a thing depending on what age the two people get together. Like 17 and 24 is definitely iffy (the ages the characters are in the first AA game) but what if the same two people don't get together until 28 and 35 (the ages they are in the sixth game)?

And they're all "IT'S ABOUT PROTECTING TEENS FROM PREDATORY ADULTS".

And I was saying "What if it's the younger person doing the chasing? Don't kinkshame people based on your own personal squick."

But apparently "If they met when one of them was a child and one of them was an adult, that’s using the tactic pedophiles use of “I’ll wait for you.”"

I kissed a 23 year old when I was 16, and we went on one date. (He then proceeded to distance himself from me because he realised I wasn't mature enough for a relationship, even though 16 is the age of consent here.) My friend at uni was 18 and engaged to and living with a 25 year old. (I don't know whether their relationship lasted). I totally understand an individual 17 year old feeling that they're not mature enough for a relationship with a 24 year old, but that experience is not universal. Especially in countries less prudish than the US, where the age of consent can be as low as 14.

mongoose_bite and Tailon have explained to me about antis and it makes a lot of sense that there are young kids who have been brought up by "White Evangelical Conservatism In A Gay Hat". But it worries me a lot. I'm very concerned that all of these kids think that predatory adults only prey on teenagers. Predatory adults prey on other adults too.

And a 24 year old can be raped by a 17 year old.

Comments

[flippac]

Aaaaaaand this is why I don't go on tumblr.

[baratron]

I don't blame you. Popular theory is that these "antis" have received their sex education from TERFs, and are thus obsessed with "purity". It's really quite alarming.

Nice to see you, though! I was getting worried, hadn't seen you post anywhere in about 18 months iirc.

[flippac]

I'm semi-active on twitter but pretty much comment-only on here - life's been such that 90% of what's getting to me is stuff I can't talk about in public any more, though the last breakup was at least rough for the right kinds of reasons.

(We're not managing to talk, I'm still watching the habits of that relationship take ages to fade including the ones about keeping her alive...)

Life is mostly extensively boring, though I got some longer-term self-care stuff done last year. Don't need blockers any more for example.

[thekumquat]

The thing with the Internet is any twit can get on it nowadays (I've been saying that since the last century).

Age is an indicator, not proof, of maturity and experience. If an age gap prevents someone leaping into a relationship too fast, it's possibly a good think. For reference, Conflux is 7 years older than me. As are djm4 and ruis. I was 19 when I met Conflux which is one reason it took seven years before we moved I was together even.

I don't mention on most of the Internet that my uncle at 28 had a shotgun wedding with the 14-year-old who'd sought him out and helped him get over PTSD from Vietnam. If one of them was vulnerable, it wasn't her. Their older siblings married each other later, and all very happy (apart from effects of other uncle's more severe PTSD from Korea).

[kshandra]

I thought I had a point to make here, but apparently I don't.

(What's your tumblr? I looked in the obvious place but someone got there first, apparently.)

[baratron]

baratrongirl, which is my default name to use in the rare instance that "baratron" is already taken.