baratron: (aibo)
My health has been slowly breaking down over the past few months, and I don't just mean my mental health.

Just before the coronavirus really kicked in, I went to the US to attend PAX East and visit Grant. The convention itself was great, met several important friends, and hung out with some of the Elder Scrolls Online devs. Again. Given that I work for UESP they already have a pretty good idea who we are.

Me with Alarra and Shifty in our Airbnb in Boston.

Cut for more pictures. )

One of the important friends (Tatanko) drove Grant and I 8 hours across country to State College, PA, where he lives, from whence we hired a car and drove another 2 hours to Grant's grandmother's funeral. Which was fine. His dad was really pleased to see me/us. His mum and brother were a bit more surprised, but I think ultimately glad we made the effort, and I don't really care about anyone else.

Then I got home and had to go straight into isolation, because although I didn't get a letter telling me I had to, I take one of the inhalers on Asthma UK's list of "medications which imply your asthma is bad enough that you should be shielding". So over the past however many weeks since I got home, I have been out of the house 4 times - and 2 of those were for doctor's appointments. I am very lucky to have a Richard because I would have literally starved by now without his loving cooking.

Also... well, this story is long, and needs some privacy.
baratron: (introspection)
There is a lot of debate on my friends list relating to an incident at ReaderCon. Details and many people's opinions can be found in the links in BC's post. The most salient part is that the con has a so-called "zero tolerance" sexual harassment policy, which a few years ago caused a "smelly", extremely creepy man to become banned for life, yet this year caused a well-known fan to be banned for only a couple of years, for what I assume was similar behaviour. As ever, I like [livejournal.com profile] xiphias's analysis.

Now, I wasn't at ReaderCon, and am unlikely to be at any science fiction conventions in the near future, but I did wonder what exactly the anti-harassment policy said. So I went to their website, and the best I could find was this:
Readercon has always had a zero-tolerance harassment policy.

Harassment of any kind — including physical assault, battery, deliberate intimidation, stalking, or unwelcome physical attentions — will not be tolerated at Readercon and will result in permanent suspension of membership.

As always, Readercon reserves the right to strip membership at its discretion.

Do you see the problem with that? I sure do. Especially when it's compared to the BiCon Code of Conduct (here's 2012's):
No Means No.

No-one at BiCon should be put under any pressure to join in with things they do not want to do.

This includes:
* any sexual behaviour
* hugs or touching
* taking part in a activity
* disclosing information
* or even having a chat.

It is fine to ask someone once if they would like to do something. For example, “Would you like a hug?”. If they refuse, continuing to ask is pestering them and will be viewed as harassment. If someone asks you to leave them alone, do so.

In public, “no”, “stop”, “don’t do that” or similar words and phrases will be taken at face value by the BiCon organisers and volunteers regardless of context.

The BiCon policy goes further, also defining what sort of behaviour is acceptable in public, respecting differences (with specific details about gender and race), confidentiality, and how the team intend to deal with any complaints.

What's the difference? Well, the ReaderCon policy assumes that everyone is on the same page and at the same level of cluefulness. It only includes what one might call "obvious" and deliberate harassment - things that are done intentionally to harm another. Indeed, the official ReaderCon Board of Directors statement even states "When we wrote our zero-tolerance policy in 2008 (in response to a previous incident), we were operating under the assumption that violators were either intent on their specific behaviors, clueless, or both." Whereas the BiCon policy explains, in simple English, how something you might intend in a friendly manner could come across as intimidating or scary to the person you're interacting with. It helps people who are nervous around other people, and/or have weaker social skills understand what exactly counts as acceptable behaviour (and perhaps offers pointers for how to chat someone up without freaking them out?).

This sort of detailed, yet easy to understand, policy is something I'd expect to see in place well before any discussion of "zero-tolerance". And I would urge all conventions to move towards a policy of this kind - something clear enough that there's no wiggle room of "I didn't mean it".

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